Pirates of teh Caribbean 3 movie review

James Gorcesky

May 26th 2007

Pirates of the Carribean 3 Review



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Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End

Also known as Return of the Jedi at Sea

Or Speed 2 – but on a Boat

Greetings true believers, let this mark my semi-anniversary for writing reviews for the Anarchist and his evil alchemy of arch-villains and nerds. Pirates 2 was the first review that I wrote for this site; so now it feels just a little bit special writing my first "sequel" review as it has come close to my one year anniversary of having my work seen to a much larger public.

And so thinking about when I wrote that first film and how I am writing it's sequel LESS THAN A YEAR away from its prequel. Which gives me a bad feeling about initially coming to see Pirates 3 and if a film is written, shot and put it within a year from it's predecessor – something didn't fall through the cracks all too well. Unless you are filming films simultaneously such as the Matrix films or the Lord of the Rings Trilogy you end up rushing yourselves into production and not taking an adequate amount of time to plot out things – especially the script. BUT, if you do plan to shoot a film without a finished script, just borrow the concept from another film - such as Return of the Jedi!

Back to the Future Part 2, many of the Bond films, and Superman II all come to my mind after these films were released and IMMEDIATELY rushed into production. I know Spielberg regretted making Back to the Future 2 and then HAVING to make Part III only to suck ass. And chances are, if you are a comic book fiend you will already have your opinions about Superman III (which is seminally one of the greatest comic book films of all time). Unfortunately, so much work and success was put into Superman I/II that when III came about, with a much more comedic approach – the fiscal return on the film wasn't as well. Image:EvilSupermanCloseup.

jpgNow, I feel that there IS a direct parallel between Pirates 3 and Superman III but primarily the plot is Return of the Jedi.



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Yeah, I know what you are thinking – this nerd is ludicrous! Trust me, I won't let you down. Okay, so I ended up seeing the RATHER LONG epic film and I became very bored throughout most of the film as it was over run with waaay too much information about Pirate-lure, constant betrayal amongst all of the main players of the cast and waaay too much computer generated Johnny Depp Image:Fishmanjack.jpegfor an over zealous attempt for a comedic Johnny factor for the film. The man has got like forty clones – I felt like I was watching the Clone Wars L

Spoilers Ahead!

Okay, let me get back to the alternative titles for this film as saying this is like Return of the Jedi. Actually, A LOT of this film felt like Return of the Jedi. Perhaps because I feel that Star Wars is the quintessential film saga that set the standard for "Trilogy Films" but even the opening of the film feels very much like Jabba's Palace. Image:JabbasPalace2.jpgOkay so Kiera Knightley is in disguise to rescue her beloved and captured Will. Just like Princess Leia, Image:Leiabikini.jpgin Boush disguise is rescuing a Han Solo frozen in carbonite (TEEGLO-CARBON!) She is about to be captured by some Singapore Pirates that wanna see her naked, but luckily, mudda fuckn' Barbosa Image:Hector Barbossa -2.JPGis to the rescue. In this sense of the word, you can think of Barbosa as Luke who has come to rescue everyone. Or perhaps you might want to think of him as Lando Calrissian, a man who betrayed everyone and is now trying to redeem himself. In fact, I personally feel that Barbosa plays the ultimate hero in the film and has some of the most endearing qualities as far as a blood thirsty and back stabbing pirate would go.

Okay, so what is going on in this film is that Kiera, Barbosa, Will and the rest of the crew have traveled to Singapore and are meeting one of the "Pirate Lords" who is played by Chow Yung Fat and that they may continue their little quest. These guys need the help on bringing back Captain Jack Sparrow from the land of the dead. Ang Lee had a map that shows them basically on how to get to the "Edge of the World" and gain access to Davy Jones' locker and get Jack back. Some events happen along the way when the East India Trading Company (The Galactic Empire) comes barging on in. Apparently, Marshall law has been declared and if you are a pirate – you will die.

This strict law on all pirates can also be kinda like a direct correlation of what happened to most of the pirates in the world. Jack and Barbosa end up having a conversation about this, about how the world is getting smaller, the world has changed and the ways of the sea have changed. The strict enforcement of the seas and overtaking the pirates can be also seen as "The Evil Empire" who is trying to rule the seas with an iron fist. Their Death Star is the Flying Dutchmen with Davy Jones Image:Jones and jack.JPG(aka Darth Vader) at it's helm who must do all of the bidding commanded by the evil "Emporer" Image:Palpatine1.jpg

Lord Beckett.Image:BeckettHollander3.jpg The only way to combat this evil empire is for all of the pirates to band together, like the Rebellion, and unleash their secret weapon. (Just like finding out how to destroy the bunker base on the forest moon of Endor).

Okay, so some BETRAYAL begins to unfold. Will makes a deal with Ang Lee on trying to make co hoots with the EIC in order to get Jack back from the dead so that he can get the Black Pearl from him and thus deliver Jack to Ang and Ang to the EIC in order to ensure his own safety. SO the crew sets sail to the edge of the world, go over a large waterfall and come out the other side of the world. Meanwhile, Jack is having a nervous breakdown in the middle of Davy Jones' locker. He is having delusions of grandeur and has created many imaginary versions of himself as he does work on his ship the Black Pearl. The ship itself is stuck in a sea of salt surrounded by these spherical rocks. But luckily Jack licks one of these rocks and turns into a crab, then that crab commands an army of other crabs and is able to lift up to take it out to sea. Once it lands, Barbosa and his crew are there and finally everyone is united.

SO now onto the next part, it will be intertwined with some more betrayal, twists and turns. Barbosa knows that the Nine Pirate Lords must unite in order to release the ancient Goddess Calypso from her human form. The pirates all know that Lord Beckitt is on a mission to rid the world of all pirates and he also knows that they are all convening on Shipwreck's Cove for a final stand off. There is a traitor amongst their midst, actually everyone betrays one another at some point in this whole film. Anyways, all of the pirates head on over to Shipwreck's Cove where they need to decide on the issue over unleashing Calypso and regain their title over the sea.

If you know your Greek Mythology, you might know Calypso as a seductive Goddess with much power (in this case over the sea). Her story goes that Calypso was in love with Davy Jones many years ago. Davy made a deal with her that he would command the flying Dutchmen after he gave her his heart. His job was to take souls who died at sea to the next resting place. He would be at sea for ten years and one day at land. When he came back, she wasn't there and Davy felt betrayed. He and the original "Meeting of the Brethren" convened and decided they would enslave Calypso and take the sea as their own. The original nine pirate lords captured her and enslaved her in a human form which became Tia Dalma, who originally helped bring about Barbosa back from the dead.

This story amongst other Pirate Lure, mythology, information, characters, Lords, a King, traditions becomes WAAAAY too much information. The story just gets all of this stuff thrown at you which becomes intertwined with consistent betrayal. The main difference with this film from it's predecessor was that each person needed to get something from the other. This film still has that element, but it's toned down a bit on the very well choreographed fight scenes and instead has a whole lot more introduction of all of these nameless pirate lords Image:Chevalle.jpgand just keeps on trying to introduce to more and more Pirate characters. There are even times when we don't even know who they are or very more or on what their purpose is on the film. But whereas they have this ability to just stir up problems and create drama. They can see a few lines and then drop off into the distance as the remaining action happens in the film. What they need is to have a visual dictionary guide to this film so you know the official "Pirate Code" and what is going on behind the scenes of all of the action and inter-twining betrayal.

Finally, the whole big battle happens at the end of the film. Calypso is freed, Kiera Knightley becomes the "King of the Pirates," Jack is freed and goes through constant hallucinations, Will and Kiera get married and then Will ends up stabbing Davy's heart and then ends up taking oversees the captain of the Flying Dutchmen Image:Will Scar.JPGand ends up freeing the crew men of the Dutchmen so that they are no longer cursed as "the fish men." Will then comes back from the Dead and gets his heart taken out and gets put into the new locker and given to Kiera for protection.

Will there be a fourth Pirates film?! The film ends where Barbosa ends up kicking Jack and stealing the Black Pearl back and making it rightfully his. But what they didn't know was that Jack ended up stealing the valuable map from Barbosa and his men making it unassailable in order to reach the "Fountain of Youth". If you end up sticking around for the end of the credits, there is a scene where Will Turner returns to shore ten years later and Elizabeth has bore a son. But, who knows if another one will come around, personally I hope they do not and if they do – they should not rush this film as much. They rushed this film waaay too much and it falls through the cracks on some development and too many characters and glam and information and not enough for us to process. For a three hour movie, you will end up leaving the theater a little exhausted.

Pirates of the Caribean 2 movie review

Captain Jack Will Get You High Tonight.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Mans Chest movie review

By James Bo Gorcesky 7/28/06



The film opens up dark, mysterious and gory. I laugh hard as I see men dragged to their deaths in a mysterious foreboding castle. A caged prisoner is attacked by a flock of crows and his eyeballs are gauged out like in a bad Argento film. But one man is able to escape such a fate as he sails away in a homemade casket boat with a decrepit boney leg to paddle back to his Black Pearl.

I havent seen the first Pirate film since it came out in the theatres a few years ago. So, being able to recall who was in the last film (as far as supporting cast was concerned) was a little misty for me. But the film remains true to promises of nonstop action, excitement, great special effects, constant comedy relief and carries a heavy amount of sex appeal from Depp, to Knightley, to Bloom Hell, even Davy Jones has got it going for him with those weird tentacle things attached to his Octopussy face.



Warning: Spoilers and Rough Waters Ahead, my mateys..



Ah yes, Davy Jones is the main villain of this film and is totally the SCENE STEALER. Davy (as played by Bill Nighy) is an entirely CGI generated villain whom looks like a cross between an Octopus and a Lobster. Bill Nighy, whom most nerds might remember from his roles in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Underworld, and Shaun of the Dead, {remember, he played Philip? The boyfriend of Shauns mom who he just couldnt stand and eventually became a Zombie?!} Anyway, Nighy ended up wearing a motion capture suit with tons of reference points. Kinda like balls on his chin, but not like the same balls that the Anarachist likes near his mouth ;) So the crew of ILM designed this totally cool looking guy, whose just sudden movements of his upper lip or smoking a pipe totally distracts the audience onto his every move.

So think of Davy as Faust of the Seven Seas the lord of his infamous Locker and Captain of his ancient ship The Flying Dutchman, the writers of the film ingeniously created a little back story about Davy, and there is this chest with his heart in it (Dead Mans Chest GET IT?). But Jack has found that there is a map to get to the key which unlocks the chest, but he needs to suck in as many of his friends that he can to get it. Ill explain

You remember the trading company from the first film? Well, they have Orlando Bloom and Knightley under arrest because they helped Jack Sparrow escape at the end of the last picture. So Knightley will be put to death unless Bloom can get the magical compass that Jack Sparrow has on him. Thusly, the trading company will be able to control the whole world and all her waters (kinda like the British Empire actually trying to rule the world around the same time this film takes place.) So Bloom must go out in order to get the compass, but first he must find Jack.

Jack is currently on his own quest on how to find this mystical key. He is awoken at night by Bootstrap (Blooms father). Bootstrap is now this cool looking Water Zombie (kinda like a mixture of the sea creature zombies from Creepshow but with the watery wrinkled look that the director Gore Verbinski captured in The Ring). So Bootstrap is now a zombie slave crew member for Davy Jones and Jack is next. Jack owes Davy for a deal he made years ago in order to become the Captain of the Black Pearl for ten years. Jack, who is a coward, needs to find a way to escape death yet again and how to sucker other people in to cover his ars.

In classical (and excellent screenwriting fashion) you have two or more characters wanting something with conflicted interests. Bloom and Sparrow end up meeting together after Bloom ends up indelibly saving Jack and his crew from an island of cannibals. To repay his friend, Jack strikes a bargain so that Bloom will end up getting traded soul for soul on the Flying Dutchman. Bloom ends up meeting Davy Jones and says, Jack Sparrow sent me to repay an old debt, in doing so, it pisses off Davy and wants his promise paid back in full.

Another deal is struck; Jack wagers that his soul is worth one hundred souls to go down to the locker instead. There also becomes this fun sorta atheist/Spanish Inquisition undertone where Davy Jones promises people to end their sufferings if they join his crew for a hundred years. Which, personally, I think is a shitty deal because you end up being super old and decrepit and you look like an extra off the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles supporting cast. But the special effects on the film were so awesome that they created such monsters. Each of the sixteen crewmen on Jones ship (excluding Bootstrap) were entirely digitized. The mannerisms and facial expressions ALONE on the Davy Jones character make you wonder constantly is that a guy in a rubber suit, a robot or some entirely digital manifestation?

So Jack becomes transfixed on how he is going to save himself yet again, now this adventure not only costs a few people that are close to him their lives but a hundred of innocent ones. But where to get these innocent slobs can only be found on the pirate port of Tortuga. Here, Jack enlists the aid of many of some broken and beaten down men, one in particular is Cutler Beckett, whom was to wed Knightley in the first film but is now spending his time wallowing in pig shit. Cutler joins, as does Knightley (whom has caught up with the adventurers after single handedly escaped her own prison,) and we also have those two bungling comedic relievers Pintel and Rhagetti; who were evil pirate ghosts in the last film but have now returned to find their own redemptions by making us laugh and chasing a wooden eye ball around scenes.

The crew is now together, but it is only Knightley who can properly utilize Jacks compass and direct them to where the chest is (no, not her chest). The crew now has an idea on where to go and set sail, as Bloom deals with his own misfortunes. He ends up playing this game of Liars Dice between Davy Jones, Bootstrap and himself. The gamble is about freedom, and how he could wager himself to be free of Davy Jones along with his father against the key to the chest which Jones holds so dear. Bloom ends up winning the match, but his father ends up getting suckered into a much longer time of servitude. Before Bloom escapes, he steals the key from Jones as he slumbers on his Captain Nemo-like organ in the middle of the night.

Jack and his crew arrive at the island and dig up the chest, just as Bloom arrives with the stolen key. But everyone is hot on their tail in order to get back what is properly theirs and everyone wants a piece of everyones action. Conflict and tensions rise because somebody wants to steal the heart, somebody wants to kill it, somebody wants to keep it to themselves and another wants to use it as ransom to, dare I say.rule the world? Everyone fights over the damn thing; high speed chases on the seven seas ensue after the evil beast of THE KRAKEN is beckoned by Davy Jones. No, Im not talking about the same monster from the very awesome Clash of the Titans, nor of the ride you might find in Sea World. This nasty looking beast is a mythical creature whom Jones uses to do his nasty bidding and by dragging men down to their watery graves at the locker.

There are some really fun fights and action sequences all throughout the remainder of the film as one untold mini-plot unfolds into another. Although a lot of people are criticizing that this film has no plot it is chock full of a lot of mini plots. This film is A LOT of fun, and its primarily all about one person wanting one thing, but in order to get that, they must make a deal in order to get it. This film isnt meant to be seen as a simple A to B plot point story line. With a third Pirates installment along the way (which was shot back to back with this Pirates film) it can now be clearly seen that these three movies are intended to be one really big unfolding adventure (full of many tiny adventures along the way).

Hands down, this isnt the most exciting film of the season for me. I totally geeked out a lot more in Superman, but even though this film is about the same length youre not finding those same Superman sagging boring points in this movie. Its always about one constant adventure after another and you rarely have enough time to sit back and relax. The special effects are definitely awesome, especially when you have the boys of ILM creating some of the best original characters and one new beasty youll be sure to never forget (think about the Sarlacc Pit from Return of the Jedi but with a lot of little sucker filled tentacles ready to bash and suck men down to their deaths.) It is definitely recommended to check out this movie for the year. Even though I am a bigger comic book fan, its unfortunately looking more and more likely that Pirates is the movie to own the summer of 2006. But you never know about some sleepers on the rise, we do have Snakes on the Plane just around the corner :D