Bo Gorcesky - Associated Content from Yahoo!

Showing posts with label comedy horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy horror. Show all posts

Monday, June 22, 2009

The top ten horror films that couldn't make it to my Halloween countdown - but deserve an honorable mention

Well for those of you that have been either with or without me for the past few months oughta know by now that I've been having a lil countdown going on. Specifically listing some of the best (and perhaps critcally worst perhaps) horror films that you need to feast your eyes upon. These films are all listed as intentionally to be either bought at your local video place (such as an FYE, Best Buy etc.) because a lot of video stores to rent them - like Blockbuster (aka Cockbuster) will never in their mind carry these films - and if your lucky enough you need to get the unrated director's cuts of a lot of them.

So it's about one week and counting until Halloween officially comes about. We're already starting to catch a few of these horror films on television now, but like I've listed over and over again - you're never gonna get the real deal through programs found on AMC, SCI-FI channel or anyone else. If you want to see what these films are really about, find the few places that you can rent them from or just buy them on taking my word of mouth from the review. Check out my countdown to see which films that you DEF need to see before getting any of these other films.

Listed below are the films that ALMOST made it but just couldn't cut it all the way (no pun intended for the slasher fans). I don't think that this list in particular is in any order of preference like my true countdown. This film is more like the second stringers that I hadda cut back in preference of other films that really came to my mind in time that I think they really needed to get the recognition and word of mouth that they deserve. So here we go, if I can list you guys the amount of blood and breasts and such for the specific films: I shall - if not they are still def movies you need to check out. And if you don't see a film that YOU FEEL BELONG TO DESERVE ON THIS LIST please list a lil comment below. Cause the more of us that stick together on this thing, all the more better that we can make a more unified and glorified (or should I say gorified) essence of horror in the world.

Here we go - in no particular order, here are some truly great horror films that I believe you all need to check out. If you're a lil particular about a few, I really want to narrow my films to horror specific, and say, not truly a sci-fi gorey film (such as John Carpenter's The Thing or Critters) to say a fantasy based film like perhaps The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Army of Darkness or even Lord of Illusions. No, this is straight up horror, so unless you thik otherwise, please feel free to drop me a line or comment on my blogs:

1)Dawn of the Dead (aka Zombi or Zombie:Dawn of the Dead)


1978, Directed and written by George A. Romero

George A. Romero's epic zombie film and the follow up to his original classic Night of the Living Dead (number 2 on my list). A comibination with George A Romero and Italian horror master Dario Argento turns out to be a match made in Hell that lived on through a long team up including Two Evil Eyes. The film itself is about four people (a helicpoter pilot, a newswoman and two SWAT soldiers) find refuge in an indoor shopping mall while the zombie epidemic wipes across the face of the Earth. They hold their ground off against a maruading band of bikers/pirates who also try to steal what they can to survive. In the end, it's an all out war/pie fight against the bikers and zombies and whoever survives - hitches a ride onto a helicopter to find safety elsewhere.

The film itslef was filmed at the Monroeville Mall in Monroeville,PA whenever the mall would close up- the crew would set up for the night until Dawn, and then start again for the next day of shooting the following night. The film itself is a legendary cult classic and along with Night of the Living Dead, has inspired many, many zombie films. Some like to even consider that Shaun of the Dead, is an uncompromised sequel to Dawn of the Dead that continues it's story line. Along with it's prequel, (but no so much with it's prequel) there are a lot of social issues that pracitacally satirically look at the world in it's time with ourselves against the zombies. You can call the zombies whatever you like and picture the global problem with them in it's place (whether famine, God's wrath, war or a domineering government - the zombies are just mankind's most natural enemy.)

Did you know that there's an alternate ending suppossedly? Where Peter shoots himself in the head and Fran sticks her head in the blades of the copter she would have flown away from. In my humble opinion, this could def make sense and make a clear cut (even though down trotten ending) but everyone knows there is NO escape from the zombie epidemic Some other side notes, it's a very awesomely gorey film and it includes pretty much where Tom Savini, gore make up fx extradoinaire and George Romero teamp up. A lot of the gore was thought of right on the spot and they just create a gag for it right then and there. Look for deaths like someone getting themselves ripped to shreds in the blood pressure tester, a screw driver in the ear and a pie fight sequence.

The film touts an insane amount of zombies and last year had it's remake, which wasn't all to bad considering how remakes are nowadays. The director of that remake will now also be doing a remake to that original sequel, Day of the Dead. So expect the remake to Day of the Dead to come out next year. Probably the most notable thing in the remake is the differences of the zombies, that are more typically faster and probably smarter and even more ferocious (more parell with the ones you'd find in Return of the Living Dead, which is number 8 on my listing I do believe)

NOTE: Be on the lookout for the rather racist, hilarious and losing it WOOLY in the beginning of the film whose in the task force int he apartment complex. Thanks Wooly, for blowing the zombie's head totally off. :D

Breast shots: One, nearly in the bed scene as done by Fran.

Body count: 88 (includes the living and the undead)

Gore factor: 9 out of 10 heaping buckets of blood and ripped up cow intestines.

2)Hellraiser


1987, Directed and Written by Clive Barker

This was a hard one to call for me between Hellraiser 1 and 2, but I hadda pick the first one since Clive did direct it and I feel it's quite transcendental for horror films at the time, a bit of a step above a typical slasheresque horror film, and we had a new boogeyman born known as Pinhead the Cenobite (as played so coldly by Doug Bradley). I feel that Hellbound: Hellraiser II is a bigger epic in scale of the Hellraiser films and with each film (with the originals at least) we get to know more and more about Pinhead and the Box. So they spent the first three films really getting to know the man behind Pinhead and his curse, and the fourth film is all abou the Mythos of the puzzle: THe Lament of Configuration. Then Hellraisers 5-8 which really just have Pinhead as lil cameos as far as I'm concerned and are just direct to video pieces of crap. But this is what you get with the first one to really have a feeling for the Hellraiser saga:

The story- So, a young girl: Kristy Lawrence moves into a house with her mother and father. The house belongs to her father's half brother (Uncle Frank) Now the story between Frank and the mom is that they used to be lovers and fuck around and the such - basically Frank was a scumbag. Frank, a lil while ago, discovered the puzzle box - and basically discovered and solved the riddle for the Lament of Configuration: All of these hooks and shit ripped his flesh right off, and these demonic S & M creatures called the Cenobites were conjured up as well and brought Frank down to Hell.

So you can think of this as almost like a haunted house story and features the typical almost wicked step mother kinda role int he film. A drop of blood from the father ends up absorbing down into the house into the remnants of Frank. And with each bit of flesh or blood he gets, he becomes more and more man again. Well, the "wicked stepmom" finds out the secret and so wants to be re-united with her lover again - so she helps lure in men so that he can have their flesh and he can be whole again- that includes his own half-brother and her husband Larry.

So Uncle Frank is whole again, but now the Cenobites are pissed that he escaped hell - so they come back to retrieve him and no matter the cost. I find that the film is all about pain and the love of pain. The tearing of the flesh and the reprimanding of the wicked. Did you know that the film was originally going to be called "Sadomasochists from Beyond the Grave" that just sounds like a bad porn title right? Anyone a big Clockwork Orange fan? Well the address of the house is the same as the institue young Alex attends in order to become a better man in society. The film is a bit demented with the whole Love of Pain and pleasure of the flesh themes going on withint the film. Clive kinda makes within the film series itself a mythos about Hell and what is to be possiably expected in the afterlife, it's more so present in the second Hellraiser film though. Anything else prior to Hell was just simply Demonic possessions and or the Devil himself with such films like The Exorcist, THe Omen and Rosemary's Baby- Hellraiser took a vast realm as Hell, and added a lot more of a flare to it. If not, this film woulda just been another cliched slasher film like all of the other Freddy's and Jason's at it's time. Don't worry too much about a super director's cut though, cause Clive Barker only had to trim about 20 seconds from his initial cut which are lil hammer blows, fingers entering the flesh and some S and M ass spanking. But do check out the first two Hellraiser films to get a great idea down for how the whole bizarre mythos works.

Body count- 7

Breast seen-1

Gore factor- 9 out of 10 buckets of blood. Watching Uncle Frank slowly returning to a man is a slowly, gorey and bloody process.

3)Freddy vs. Jason

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Buckets of Blood: 10 out of 10- hilarious Kung-Fu style bloody spraying as if when you cut people's limbs or major arteries they'd shoot out like puncturing a hole in a spray can.

4)Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn

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1987, Directed and written by Sam Raimi, also written by Scott Spiegel.

As listed in my countdown for the original Evil Dead (number 4 on the list) as Sam Raimi's sequels progress, they become less gorey and more comedic- that's why as much as I LOVE Army of Darkness, I really don't consider it a horror film. But Evil Dead 2 is yet another ingenious blend of comedy and horror, more so comedy and creepyesque horror. So we got some more slap stick where Bruce Campbell has a bit more acting ability in him to roam around the house and either get possessed, laugh with a lamp shade and lose his mind, or play a Tom and Jerry lil sequence with his hand that he had to cut off.

The story- As I've mentioned before, Evil Dead 2 isn't so much of a sequel - but more like a bigger budgeted remake of the original. the boys wanted to make it more commercially viable than the original, so that's why it's not so much necessarily gorey - but you're not just gonna see red blood. Cause a lot of RED blood means a film has to be trimmed down a lot more. So instead they featured a lot more like green blood, black bood and anyting else gorey they can feature in the movie. So if you've seen the original, the first twenty mintues or so of this one is pretty much the same.

Ash and his girlfreidn Linda are in a cabin, by mistake the discovers the book of the dead and the demonic incantantions that awaken the dark forces in the woods. THe demons come for his girlfriend so that Ash is forced to kill her, then they come for his hand which he cuts off (and then the hand runs around causing trouble all throughout the film - waaay too funny.) So we got Ash acting all paranoid, throwing himself around the cabin and smashing plates over his head like a goof ball. Then, two hill billies and relatives to the archeologist who discoverd the book of the dead return to the cabin wonderign what happened.

Ash is blamed for all of the madness and they think he called the Archeologist and his wife Henrietta. Well this couple gets sucked into all of teh madness as well (there's no tree raping but Bobbi Joe is sucked out intot he woods by some trees) and other's die and or possessed. The only way to get rid of the evil, is by using some new passages that were discovered that were intially came out of the Necronomicon, the original book of the dead. The first passage puts the force into a viewable form, and the second part of the passage will suck it into a worm hole back to where it belongs, in the medieval times int he days of Henry the Red and King Arthur (no not that one)

This movie is very hilarious and some (such as Jack Black in High Fidelity) will proclaim it as one of either the greatest a)horror b)cult c)cinematic films of all time. There's a lot of goofy tongue in cheek humor, Oldsmobile and of course three stooges humor all through the film. The reason people consider this as a remake is only because the film makers couldn't obtain the rightsto the first film to give the audience a recap. So they reshot scenes with Bruce and his girlfriend, but there is an exact point where Evil Dead 1 begins and the "semi official" Evil Dead 2 begins when Ash is possessed by the evil but is saved by Dawn.

Having a "possessed" Ash comes from the original short film - Within the Woods, which Raimi and crew shot for funding to get the original Evil Dead made. They used a lot of the scares in their first film (to the "T") but having Ash romaing around as a possessed monster is closer to the Woods plot. But did you all know that some of the film was shot within a gymnasium in North Carolina, but also on the set of The Color Purple, due to the fact that the original Evil Dead cabin burnt down under "mysterious reasons"

"For God's sake, how do you stop it?" Well, that's obvious - you can't. THe franchise is still thriving with a hopeful Evil Dead 4 in the works, comic books, a remake of the original Evil Dead and numerous video games of the series. To me, it is the quintessiantial cult film/series.

Breasts seen: Almost one from the decapitated muppet body of Linda running around with the chainsaw and I guess the same can go for Henrietta in the basement - but really no boobs. ANother graphic semi-porographic seen woulda involved Bobby Joe having her legs spread and rammed so hard/fast with a tree between her crothch she woulda been split in half.

Body count: 6

Gore factor: 6 out of 10 buckets of blood, as mentioned up top, not a very gorey film but they did what they could to make it a more marketable peice of art. Even if that involves decapitated puppet bodys, head in a vice a hole in the wall that shoots blood or juice of some sort (almost like black coffee at times) that spurts and blows all over Ash.

5)The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2


1986, Directed by Tobe Hooper and written by L.M. Kit Carson

Y'know, I just got done writing about the TCM movies not too long ago so I'm not gonna get into it. But here are the reasons that you probably should chec it out for - A) Tobe Hooper returns to direct B)Dennis Hooper with a barrage of chainsaws C)Tom Savini does the make up fx D)Kinky pseduo chainsaw sex. Gunnar Hensen isn't back to be Leatherface, but a kinda retarded and perverted Leatherface is back with an evne goofier mask. Only the actor of the cook has returned from the original, but we do have a new family member, Chop Top, who is the twin of the Hitchhiker from the original whom was away in Vietnam during the original film. He is totally over the top and always hilarious, and likes to use a hot wire hanger to scratch at the metal plate in his head.

The story- A radio DJ (Stretch) ends up having a recording of some kids calling in her show and getting chopped up by the crazy Leatherface family of Cannibals. This intrigues the local sherrif who is played by Dennis Hopper and is on a vengeful quest to get back at those bastards what they did to his family from the previous film. Leatherface falls in love with the DJ and all hell is rampant in this film. I should probably check it out again, since I haven't seen the movie myself in a while, and can only really remember a cheesy ending, the over the top Chop Top and some of teh more memorable moments in the rest of the series. The cannibals carry around a corpse with them thourgh out the film (I'm not too too sure if it's their brother the Hitchhiker from the original) but it does people a few people hacked up with a chainsaw and a dude skinned alive. So it def features more in your face gore, but doesn't hit on the same graphic (felt but not seen) impact that the original had. But it does incorporate the legend of the cannibal family but their victims in chili, which was actually award winning in the fine ol state of Texas.

I remember first getting sucked into this movie with the drive by chainsawing, and then losing faith in it when I saw Dennis Hoopper sobbing over his nephew Franklin's skeleton in the wheelchair. Liek he even knows that's the skelton (oh that's his wheelchair that's right) Ah but there is an awesome chainsaw fight at the ending, think of it like Obi Wan vs. Darth Vader but no Force and using Chainsaws instead of light sabers. And did you know if you can find the proper posing from the 2nd video box, the family has posed their bodies in a parody to the Breakfast Club?

Breasts seen: 0, but there is some kinky pseudo chainsaw sex where Leatherface likes to put his big ol long blade between Stretch's legs.

Body count: 8, including a fun one of a dude gettign skinned alive.

Gore Factor: 6 out of 10 buckets of blood, the beginning scene of the chainsaw drive by still sells me to this day :D

6)Frankenstein/ 7)Bride of Frankenstein

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1931/1935 both Directed by James Whale, both written by John Bolderston

Unlike my other sequels listed, these are the ony two I consider as back to back make a whole. They are so directly linked, so unique and some may even consider that Bride is better. I for one believe so, but both are just SOO awesome and transcending that none of our modern day horror films would have been nothing without the original masters of horror and their monsters like the directing of James Whale, Boris Karloff as the monster or even Colin Clive as the kooky Dr. Frankenstein. There's a lot of immoral ethic undertones about Frankenstien playing God and the reprecussions about "being God." Whereas he really doesn't take responsbility for his actions, and the monster runs rampant and destructive through one sequel after the next (and still does to this day).

The story- Like I'm evne gonna get into the concept of Frankenstein. If you don't know anyting about this masterpiece of the macabre (whether it's novel or various adaptations) you need not read my blogs anymore. Well Frankenstein anyways wants to create life, he accidentally puts a criminal mind inside the monster (along with other spare parts) and he's created and the monster kills. WHere the original novel, the monster kills out of neglect, this one kills from the mind that it was given "from Abby Normal" lol. People are to believe that the monster and creator are destroyed but their wrong.

In Bride, it's so beatufilly shot in scope, from teh lighting of the scenes to the angles played on the characters. Oh, speaking of great characters this one is chop full. From the gay ol'd Dr. Waldman the alchemist necromancer whom really pushes Frankenstein so that they can combine their talents to better use (he kinda represents the Devil in this movie) in fact there's a lot of this movie with a lot of religious themes and tones. Frankenstein also wanders in search of a mate and friendship where he befriends a blind man and is instructed things like smoking, drinking booze and speaking. Which in this film makes us feel even MORE sympathetic towards the monster and to his untimely ending. Def check it out if you're any bit of a man of horror or monster movies this is one is a def see!

Breasts seen: 0, it is the 30's, but you can really use your imigination to see through the Bride's wrappings ;)

Body Count: 6 between both films

Gore Factor: In our time, I'd say about 2 out of 10, but in the 30's I'd say around 10 out of 10.

8)Halloween 2

loomis-5.jpg (8622 bytes)

1981, Directed by Rick Rosenthal, written by John Carpenter and Debra Hill.

Hey, has society seen enough of John Carpenter's getting redone or what? I'm just awaiting for someone to redo his original Halloween classic because they can only go SO FAR with the Myers sequels already, which probably have the MOST conviluded continuity than any other kinda slasher film In fact, the ninth Halloween film is currently in pre-production, no plot yet but could be possiably called Halloween:Retribution or Halloween:Blood Lines. But, we should give the film series it's due but pretty much beginning the whole slasher genre from teh influences of Psycho and the Italian Giallo films. But this sequel as equally good as the original.

Maintaining that THE SHAPE has escaped and just magically disappeared give the film it's eerieness, and at it's points has some essence of Frankenstein. This film though only has John and Debra (Mr. Carpenter's main producer and co-worker for years) as the writers, and some unknown named Rosenthal (who besides this film directed the 80's cult classic The Russkies, which is like the Russian version of Goonies lol) and he now directs many many tv episodes. But we got Jamie Lee Curtis as a deranged victim still trying to escape her brother and Donald Pleasence is still the only doctor mad enought so stop the Shape known as Michael.

The story- This film takes place the same night ast the original Halloween, actually takes place DIRECTLY after the end of the original where Michael's body just kinda mysteriousily disappears. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee) is taken to a hospital to recooperate for the night. No one truly knows about the murders that happened besides Laurie, Dr. Loomis and Sheriff Brackett (whose daughter died in the original). So the two men are really the only ones out on a manhunt to stop Myers and prevent the town from further panic.

In the mean time, Loomis is ordered to get off the case and return to Smith's Grove from hence he came. But he knows he's really the only one that can stop the force of Michael, he then discovers that Laurie Strode is Michael Myers sister who went up for adoption after the incident where he killed his older sister. Which we later end up finding out in the series is that Michael has to kill off hsi blood line to maintaint eh piece in his life blah blah blah.

Want some hidden tidbits? Look for Dana Carvey in his film debut, playing an assistant , he's taken some directions from a blonde reporter. John Carpenter turned down the direction of this film, but helped write the script. He was also brought in because some people thought that Halloween 2 wasn't gorey enoughh, so they called John in to shoot a few scenes from some extra gore. The film a couple is watching around the set is Night of the Living Dead, but the film you might catch fromt eh two kids watching int he original is the original version of The Thing, which John Carpenter would end up remaking a few years later.

This marks the only film in the Halloween series to feature anyting the day after Halloween, all of the other ones endo on Halloween night. The film has some truely more hardcore killing than the original film but almost not as fun. Loomis is still a psycho and seeing Michael burn to death at the end of the film makes you wonder how/why exactly he should appear int he 4th film. Oh, because in the third film, it has nothing to do with the series and exists within it's own pocket universe. I'll get more into the Halloween series on a futrue date....

Breasts seen: 1- A very hot bath scene, and hot can be used as a pun if you like

Body Count: 11

Gore factor: 6 out of 10 buckets of blood, I'd say a lot of it goes towards the slipping on blood scene in the hospital and the burning of the bitch in the hot bath.

9)American Werewolf In London



1981, Directed and Written by John Landis

Who woulda thought that the director of the great comedies Animal House and The Blues Brothers would go on to create two landmarkish points in horror. The latter of the two being Michael Jackson's Thriller (which granted, whether you like to knock it or not- was probably the greatest video ever made in it's day.) The other landmark would be the QUINTESSENTIAL WEREWOLF film...American Werewolf in London. Where previous werewolf movies dwelled a lot of gypsy curses or time lapse photography to show makeup being applied very slowly to Lon Chaney Jr. - this film broke all molds in special effects style and and cocept within the werewolf films and it's own distinctive take on the horror genre as well.

On another side note, if you wanna watch a werewolf movie - I can think of only a few that are really needed for considered viewing. First is this film, then if you wanna go nostalgic, check out some of the good ol versions of Universal's Werewolf movies with Lon Chaney Jr. Some people have questions of the Howling series, I for one have tracked down and owned the old school VHS versions of the first 6 or 7 Howling movies. Well, they all such and have terriably funny makeup in it - and none of the films are truly connected throught he series. T he first one was great because ti was directed by Joe Dante, but all of the others are fairly cheesy. A great modern horrific werewolf movie I saw not too long ago was Dog Soldiers a new kinda werewolf movie, that's kinda got some Resident Evil/Evil Dead stuff going on for it but the special effects are awesome and it's quite graphically gorey to watch the werewolves actually eat people up.

The story- Landis had the idea for this film since he was still a teenager, but it wasn't until he'd done his work on Kelly's Heroes and directign two of America's greatest comedies we'll have to hold, was he able to finally direct a horror film like he wanted to. Two american guys (David and Jack) are out on a trip to jolly old England. On their hike on night, they take basically the "wrong" path. The local werewolf of the parts comes on by and attacks them. Jack is killed and David is mauled, and the townspeople save the day by killing the werewolf. David survives but grieves for Jack, and then all of the townspeople deny anything about a werewolf especially after David notices the wolf reformed to a man.

So David just kinda shrugs it off while he is hospitalized, he starts to have nightmares at night - oh and he's devoloping a Florence Nightingale syndrome with his nurse by the way. So, he's banging his nurse and sometimes he tends to sneak out at night and wake up naked in the zoo. He doesn't know why, he thinks he's going insane - especially when he starts to see his best friend Jack coming back to life.

Jack has been telling him night after night that David was bitten by a werewolf, and he must kill himself because he is kiilling others. And everyone that he does kill, they will also be caught in the same limbo that Jack is. Of course David thinks that he is slowly going crazy and just shrugs it off. Becuase everynight he wakes up refreshed and can't recall what happened the night before when he turned into a wolf. So night after night, Jack's body gets a lil bit more and more decomposed and another victim or two joins his ranks. It's really quite ghastly how they just pop in and out in the film and they're like, "Hey David, have you killed yourself lately?"

Jack: Now, I'm really sorry to be upsetting you, but I have to warn you.
David: Warn me?
Jack: We were attacked by a werewolf.
David: I'm not listening to this!
Jack: On the moors, we were attacked by a lycanthrope, a werewolf. I was murdered, an unnatural death, and now I walk the earth in limbo until the werewolf's curse is lifted.
David: Shut up!
Jack: The wolf's bloodline must be severed; the last remaining werewolf must be destroyed. It's you David.

So we got A LOT of internal struggle rushing through David's mind. How would you take it when your best friend and corpses are springing up to tell you to kill yourself - it's very nutty. OH and how's a bout the werewolf nazi nightmare he has lol, when they'r eattacking his family while they watch the Muppet Show. WHICH is yet another Muppet connection obsession that John Landis likes to use, such as in The Blues Brothers when just before the Mall chase sequence, the one guy is like : "Do you have this in a Miss Piggy?" or in Landis' take on Vampires in his film called Innocent Blood he hires muppeteer Frank Oz as a coroner in his film.

So again, we got some great internal struggle going on with our main character and some ghastly gorey scens elsewhere in the film for the deadly ghost nightmares. On top of all of this, we have THE GREATEST WEREWOLF TRANSFORMATION OF ALL TIME, basically because this wasn't done by keeping the actor still and slowlly apply make up to him - this werewolf is full on screen transformation using a lot of warping, wire pulling, animatronices and just about every trick in the book to make it such a memorable scene in cinematic history.Rick Baker did the special effects for the film, which earned him an 1982 Oscar for his work on this film. THe movie was also won/nominated some Saturn Awards (which are like the oscars for fantasy/horror/sci-fi films) for various categories including best film, best make up, best writing and best actress.

How's about some worthless trivia for you? Such as a bit of John Landis' trademark usage of porno, or the fact that every song in the film has the word: MOON in it. The special effects in this film were doen so well, that the Academy had to recognize such efforts- London became the first film to recieve an Oscar for special effect treatment in a film.

Breasts seen: 2 pairs

Body count: 13

Gore factor: 8 out of 10, having the corpses hanging around all of the time and the quick/sudden late night killings give us the gore we need. The bloodiness and ghastliness go hand in hand with the awesome special efffects and make up.

10)Zombie


1979, Directed by Lucio Fulci and written by Elisa Briganti and Dardano Saccheti

Now as noted from previous listings this film known as Zombie is also known as Zombie 2 in parts of the world. In Itally it is intended as the sequel to Romero's Dawn of the Dead, but Argento called his cut Zombie so that's why this is a sequel. But only in name, there is really no connecting story line here. Lucio Fulci is probably the second best Italian horror director around and has made some really great (and sometimes pretty bad horror films) but if you want the cream of his crop (eeeww) then go for this film, The Beyond (which they like to also call Zombi 3 over there, again no continuing story line but make sure you get the The Beyond from '81 wich is also known as the seven doors to death) The House by the Cemetary and City of the Living Dead (aka the Gates of Hell, which is an awesome second installment in Fulci's zombie trilogy - which are again just 3 dif zombie films, no continuing story line)

It's still a great movie and has some memorable stuff in it. Like a zombie vs. a shark, girl getting a huge wood splinter in her eye, quick striking zombies with maggots in their eyes and zombies slowly roaming towards NYC. This Zombie film like all of the other sequels have no continuity between them, but except fro teh first two - are pretty much all second rate peices of Italian horror trash.

The story- A boat suddenly appears in the NY harbor with zombies on it, the track the boat and it belongs to this scientist. A girl is on a mission to find out what happened to her father (the scientist) she teams up with journalist and stuff to reach a small island in the Caribbean. Where there is a plague going through the community which is turning them into zombies.

It's gotta some rather creepy, graphic and gorey scenes in this film. I enjoyed the main theme in it and Fulci's zombies almost have a differnt flare than all of the others that I've ever seen. They move slow at first, but when you get close to them - they strike like vipers and rip your jugular out as it gushes up a fountain of blood.

Breasts seen: 2 pair

Body count: 8

Gore factor: 8 out of 10 buckets, if not for the eyeball scene, underwater zombie and quick striking jugular ripping- this movie would be nothing.

The top ten horror films to watch just prior to Halloween part 7: The Evil Dead (movie review)

Wow, we're really getting down to the nitty gritty are we not? As I hit this film, I'm totally seeing excellence in film making. Oh, before I get a little ahead of myself today, allow me to give you the usual recap. Thank you for joing me and my new blog about some of the greatest horror films you'll need to see before this holiday season is out. For the previous people that are returning, thanks for being loyal enouhg to read my rants, see the pics and reading the stats for the body count, gore and boobs. Again, this film is represented in true Joe Bob Briggs fashion, from the style of the writing to the review only hoping that I can catch the flare that Joe Bob has and hopefully intrigue a few of you to go out and check out some of these horror films (or possiably go buy them if you haven't seen them just yet). To the people that are new to my listing, feel free to read the previous blogs on this countdown. ANd if you don't wanna do that, this is where we are currently standing in the countdown: 10)A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: The Dream Warriors 9)Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives 8)Return of the Living Dead 7)Dead Alive (aka Brain Dead) 6)Re-Animator 5)Demons (aka Demoni) so without further adieu - the next listing in the countdown is gonna be....



4)Evil Dead

This film is a DEF MUST see. Every lil film that I have ever worked on, it was mandatory that my friends/actors had to watch this film before they worked with me. It's a total inspiration to all young film makers allike and I personally feel that it helped change the world of horror films. Granted again, the special effects at the time are pretty funny to see nowadays, but this film did something to the market. It was soo gorey that it could be hardly shown anywhere, and if they did - they'd hae to cut so much shit out of it. SO it's very hard to have ever probably seen this film on television (cable, satellite or otherwise) it's a real cult gem that NOT enough people know about - horror or appreaciators of film in general.

The first time I saw it, I don't recall my eyes blinkin gfor the longest time trying to ingest all of the Karo syrup covered eye candy that I could take in. Blood, guts, body parts and demon excretement is flying all throughout this film. It's got some fun lil stop motion clay animated gore within it, and the entire end scene just seems to keep on getting grosser and grosser and progressing with just more oozing guts and bugs.New Line Cinema's The Evil Dead

This film has some things that I'm sure you're never gonna see anywhere else - whether it's done visually with Raimi's style of handling the camera OR how they present themselves with gore and sheenanigans. Like how many times are you going to see a forest try to molest a girl running around in her jammies? A drainage pipe burst blood? Blood coming out of electical outlets? The film's score and the vocalization of all of the Deadites (commonly known as the possessed persons with the Demon as revealed in Army of Darkness)

Oh, and for people with questions of continuity - think of it like this. There is a fine line of continuing the same storyline between Evil Dead 1 and 2. Evil Dead 2 links directly up with Army of Darkness. But due to legality problems, think of Evil Dead 2 as a remake to one with a bigger budget. Evil Dead ends with Ash surviving until dawn and then "THE FORCE" crashing throuhg the cabin and attacking him with Ash's scream as the screen goes to black.

In the beginning of Evil Dead 2, they pretty much redo what goes on in Evil Dead 1, but just with Ash and his girlfriend. So they're able to recap everything that happens from the first one, within about the first half an hour or so, then que when THE FORCE attacks Ash that we saw at the end of Evil Dead 1. After that happens, well pretty much a new story starts to unravel that is truly the marking point of Evil Dead 2 - and thusly hooks up with Army of Darkness. SO basically as the sequels progress, they get funnier and less gorey - for marketable reasons. THe boys saw that no one wanted the first Evil Dead, without doing a lot of censoring to it first. But it did eventually find a home in England, which eventually became the rest as history of keeping the film alive. Not to mention it's success in parts of Asia as well.

Memorable lines:

1)ASH: "You bastards, why are you torturing me like this? WHY?!"

2)SCOTTY: "She's your girlfriend - you take care of her. I'm getting out of here."

3)SCOTTY: "Hehe, I'm gonna break your face."

4)SCOTTY: "PARTY DOWN."

5)LINDA: "We're gonna get you, we're gonna get you. Not another peep, time to go to sleep."

ASH: "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

6) CHERYL: "You're not going to leave me here, are you Ash? Heheheh"

7) THE FORCE: "Join usss. Join ussss."

8)PROFESSOR: "I know now that my wife has become host to a Candarian demon. I fear that the only way to stop those possessed by the spirits of the book is through the act of... bodily dismemberment. "

9)CHERYL: "Soon all of you will be like me... And then who will lock you up in a cellar? New Line Cinema's The Evil Dead

10)SHELLY: I don't know what I would have done if I had remained on those hot coals... Burning my pretty flesh. The Evil Dead

11)CHERYL: Kill her if you can, loverboy.

12)SCOTTY: Hit it Ash, HIT IT! Argghh."

13)ASH: Now, the sun will be up in an hour or so and we can all get out of here together. You, me, Linda, Shelly. Hmm... Well... not Shelly, she? We'll all be going home together. Wouldn't you like to be going home? I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? Scott?

14)SHELLY: "WHAT HAPPENED TO HER EYES?!"

Things to look for:

-Bodily dismemberment with axe and chainsaw

-Burying bodies, sticking a cross into the ground and then the ominious thunder and lightning strike.

-Tree rape

-Headless Linda dry humping Ash

-FAKE SHEMPS

-Cheesy super matted shot of the Moon getting ink poured over it

-Claymation Necronomicon wagging it's tongue around

-Saving the day utilizing a cheesy ass necklace charm

-Bitch slapping a demon for being childish and annoying

-Look for the "Steel City" outlets that pour blood - a straight up refernce to the boys hometown of Michigan.

-The cabin that this was shot in somehow burnt down, all that stands is a fireplace. Most fans try to hunt down for this place is, cause they like to take the bricks to fan conventions so that Bruce Campbell can sign them and he gets freaked out by their dorkiness. Trust me I know, I got Bruce to sign my Evil Dead painting which freaked him out lol. The cabin also acutlaly had no basement, ..

The top ten horror films to watch just prior to Halloween part 5: Re-Animator (movie review)

Welcome back to another review as another week has rolled on by. I'm sure you all know the routine by now, so lemme at least recap what's been going on thus far as far as the countdown goes: 10)A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: The Dream Warriors 9)Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives 8)Return of the Living Dead 7)Dead Alive (aka Brain Dead) And now with the next installment in the countdown, as told in the Joe Bob Briggs kinda review......

6)Re-Animator .... (which is a MUST SEE for any horror fan since it's sooo hard to find and let alone be able to view) Gordon ..s gone off to do much more of a directing career (and in my humble opinion, the lesser talented of directors between the two of them) Re-Animator was Brian's first produced film which he still continues to do a lot of to this day. But he's also directed a few other horror films over the years in various franchises. Not only did he continue the Re-Animator franchise with it's two sequels Bride of Re-Animator and Bride of Re-Animator, but he's also worked on Progeny, both of the Dentists ..

This film is a def MUST SEE for horror fans that just enjoy that over abundance of corpses running around, if you enjoy any type of Zombie film (which Re-Animator technically isn't a zombie film, but does deal with the re-animated dead brought back to life) The gore and special effects is fantastic, the music is creepy and Jeff Combs (who plays the creepy lil re-animating Dr. Herbert West) is just great. You can currently find him as the voice of The Question on the animated series The Justice League, he's playing Kevin Burkhoff on The 4400 and has done various characters through many many Star Trek series. Not to mention the primary antagonist (and some suggest manipulative telekenitc mind control guy as well) David Gale A little headlesswho unfortunately died during heart surgery of the early 90's and wasn't able to complete anymore bad horror films for us :( This film is also a new twist on the zombie/undead genre, with a type of medical gore to it, not to mention a fun lil tongue in cheek humor at times.

The story: Dr. Herbert West is working on a serum that can prolong and defeat the dreaded "brain death" when the brain dies the body dies. So his serum is to defeat that but there comes bad consequences. The bodies of the dead do become re-animated, but becoming uncontrollable spazming beasts (and some say with the intellectual capabilites of a retarded child to say)

So West pretty much gets kicked out of Switzerland for "giving someone life with his serum" and continues his studies in America. It goes from one thing after the next- the main goal is to obtain a dead body for his studies. Now mind, much unlike a zombie film, when the dead come back they do not spread like a virus. It stays only within the person that has been injected with the serum. The only thing is that these things are powerful and uncontrollable (except when they are controlled by the likes of Dr. Carl Hill, who not only wants the Dean's daughter (Megan Halsey {with quite an estute Soap Opera career}, who is also the girlfriend of Dan Cain - the roommate/sidekick of Herbert West the Re-Animator) BUT Dr. Hill wants to steal the serum to cheat death all for himself and all of the prize, money and fame to go with it.

Basically, West is so transfixed on perfecting his serum, he needs to find a dead body to try it on - the fresher the better. So he'll inject it into somebody, the original corpse goes out of control and kills somebody. It's victim needs to be injected to perfect West's work. Who never seems to comprehend his actions and is only focused on perfecting his serum and research. So, he himself is a lil mad scientist - but not the typical kind focused on ruling the world. THat role really is meant for Dr. Hill. So these spaztic retarded zombies are causing all of this trouble and messing up the lives of the innocent Dan and Megan until they themselves get all sucked into the re-animated drama. bend over

Memorable lines:

1)SWISS NURSE: "You killed him!"

WEST: "No, I did not. I gave him life."



2) WEST: "OVERDOSE!"



3) HILL: "You will do, what I tell you to - do."



4) DAN: "For God's sake stop!"

WEST: "Dan. Look out."



5)DAN: "What if we get caught?"

WEST: "What'll they do? Embalm us?"



6) WEST: "Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow."



Things to look for:

Exploding eyeballs ..or-me-dvd-image-07.jpg" width=266 align=left border=0>









Medical Tools Fu

Syringe Fu

Attacking Cat puppet

Decapitation via shovel

Megan's boobs and bush

Head giving head

Re-animated body turning face and saving the day

Intestines attacking

Crushed in and oozing heaSooner or later I'll get youd

Severed head thrown and smashed against a wall with exploding brains

Reusage of serum despite knowing what's going to happen

Worthless tidbits of info:

-A combined tale of three stories based on HP Lovecraft's (including Herbert West - Reanimator from the book "Dagon and other Macabre tales" ) And from one true horror fan to another, check out Lovecraft's stuff - very creepy for his day and age.

-Miskatonic University (where most of the film takes place) is a lil device that HP Lovecraft used a lot of in his stories. Such as the fictitious town of Arkham for example.

-The film's main score is an adaptation of Bernard Herrmann's Psycho

-Re-Animator was first contrived as a television series with 13 half-hour episodes but was instead sold as a film.

-Jeff Combs and Barbara Crampton went on to do another Lovecraft film - From Beyond

-The R rated version is 8 minutes longer (just because of a lot more dialogue) The unrated version is chop full of gore and the specially erotic scene at the end. intestine

-25 gallons of blood were used throughout the film

-James Cameron's father plays a small bit part of a man with a damaged jaw at the hospital

-Posters of the Talking Heads in Dan's room (perhaps a lil joke of the other talking heads in this film)

-There was so much fake blood and meat within the head of Dr. Hill that is thrown against the wall -the crew was hiding behind garbage bags because they had no idea how far it would fly.

Final rundown of the film:

Pairs of boobs seen: Two

Body count: 5 plus one dead cat.

Gore factor: 7 out of 10 buckets of blood.

The top ten horror films to watch just prior to Halloween part 4: Dead Alive (movie review)

Welcome back gore fans, to a new edition of my countdown. For those of you that have been sticking around for the latest news of my countdown I just want to letcha know I've been getting used to these things more and more as my creative juices have been flowing yet again. Been making art nonstop, anxious about Halloween and watching PLENTy of gore. Like watching zombie films and eating nachoes with Koopa.

I'd like you all to know that I've actually uncovered some transcripts that a fan made of Joe Bob Briggs' host segments from Monstervision. And I'm sure you can all see the similarities between my countdown and his overviews. Well, now that I've actually found his transcripts http://www.angelfire.com/mn/nn/Monstervision.html (which can be found at this link) brought me back to my days when i'd spend nothing but watch his hilarities on the weekend. So now I'm even MORE influenced by his countdown, listing and diagnosis of films. So for now on, I'm gonna give you the Bo take on the Joe Bob report. I also will be posting pics up on these movies (some of them will be taken from other web pages so I'm sorry that I'm not stealing.) So overall you're gonna see less big ol blocks of text and more broken up with bullits and and pictures.

The rules are of course on this countdown are that I'll only be listing one film per series and per director (I like to be as favorable to everyone as possiable) You'll find things like the plot of the movie, memorable lines, useless tidbits of info, breast count, body count and gore factor per film. If you didn't notice from my other postings of the films - here's a recap: 10)A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: The Dream Warriors 9)Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives 8) Return of the Living Dead. And so without further adieu, another week has come by closer to Halloween and you guys should be spending it engulfing as much gore into your minds that you can muster.

7)Dead Alive (aka Brain Dead) ..u creepo bastardssss!" chlast chlast











9)LIONEL: "Party's over."

10)VERA: "No one will ever love you like your mother."

11)ZOO KEEPER: "Reckon they're only found on one island y'know. Story goes: thse great big rats, come scuttling off the slave ships. And raped all the little tree monkeys. Y'know, the natives use 'em in black magic rituals.

THINGS TO LOOK FOR:

-Monkey having it's leg ripped off and devoured

-Puppet Monkey death (crushed with Vera's heel inthe head)

-Farting guts puppet Gruesome giblets!

-Giant reborn, naked Vera puppet zombie

-Dog death (deskinned with guts left on teh bed)

-Head being pulled off and snapped back

-Cheek peeling

-Arm hole pussing and projectile

-Projectile cream corn vomit

-Custard devouring (with ear and pearl earring)

-Numerous amounts of flying blood, guts and slime. (Lawnmower scene!)

-Lips sucked and chewed off

-Head and arms in a blender

-Chewing through zombie intestine

-Corpse overflowing with embalmbing fluid

-Spoon full of eggs through the mouth to the back of the skull and out and then having the eggs eaten off the spoon.

-Rib cage ripped out

-Face ripped off

-Lower torso devoured to the bone yet still moving around

-Slipping and sliding on blood and resorting to use guts like stepping stones

-Fist flying through back of the head, to come out of the mouth and look like a blow up doll Braindead / Dead Alive: Grand Slam

-Light buld through back of the head

-Head cracked open like an egg

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-Head exploding like Gallagher and a watermelon

-WWII Nazi refuggee Veterinarian selling tranquilizers

-Syringe full of tranquilizer in the nose (3 times)

-Lawnmower Fu

-Priest Fu

-Kitchen utensil Fu

-Yard Tools Fu

-Lawn Gnome Fu

-Dirty Ol' Uncle Les passing kidney stones and trying to molest anything

-Dirty Ol' Uncle Les kicked in the balls 5 times

-Dirty Ol' Uncle Les utilizing an old school washing machine to squeeze all of the guts out of a zombie.

-Peter Jackson's cameo as the bumbling undertaker's asst

-Zombie sex and instant zombie maternalhood

-Zombie babysitting

-Zombie child abuse

-Zombies shooting out of the ground

-Zombie teeth being slowly yanked out of their mouth

-Zombie exploding

-Zombie torn in half so that other parts of body may continue to devour flesh.

-Zombie rebirth (Freudian style)

Worthless tidbits of info:

-Fran Walsh and Stephen Sinclair, who helped write this film, also helped out writing the LOTR trilogy's screenplays.

-Stuart Devenie, who plays Father McGruder did work in other Jackson films like The Frighteners, Meet the Feebles and Jack Brown Genius. It's really only him and Elizabeth Moody (Vera) that also worked on Jackson on a few other projects besides Dead Alive. She can be found in the extended version of The Fellowship fo teh Ring and Heavenly Creatures

-Peter Jackson, plays the cameo of the Undertaker's asst. Braindead / Dead Alive: the crazy Peter Jackson himself...He is also one of the lead actors in his first film Bad Taste. He normally inserts himself as a cameo in many of his films including the LOTR trilogy and The Frighteners.

-At the church, the music on the organ can also be found in Meet the Feebles as the song "Sodomy".

-At the gore filled conclusion of teh film with the lawnmower - blood was pumped out at 5 gallons per second! With a total of 300 liters used in the final sequence as well.

-It is said by many horror fans (including myself) that this is truly the bloodiest of all time. THe closest film that I know of to come close would be Evil Dead, but even this movies final sequence puts the exploding blood pipe to shame in Evil Dead.

Final Rundown of the film:

Pairs of boobs seen: One (on a reborn zombie puppet of Vera)

Body count: 35, plus one dead dog, one dead monkey and one dead Rat Monkey Sumatra

Gore factor: 11 out of 10 buckets of blood.

"But wait, these buckets only go to 10. Why not just make 10 more powerful?"

"But this bucket goes to eleven"

The amount of gore, blood, guts and slime in this film is IMMEASUREABLE. A total gross out from one scene to the next.