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Monday, June 22, 2009

Judge Dredd, the most under rated super hero film of all time (movie review)

James "Bo" Gorcesky

Judge Dredd movie review

December 22, 2007

The Most Underrated Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi/Comic Book Film

Of All Time: Judge Dredd

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Why Judge Dredd is considered such an underrated cult comic book film to me? Well, first off let me stack it up against other cult comic book inspired films out there that can come to my mind: Flash Gordon, Conan the Barbarian, Daredevil, The Fantastic Four (the unreleased 1994 version), Howard the Duck, Superman III – what is one thing they all have in common? They primarily all had mixed reviews by the critics and the common fan base, they all had fairly weak box office sales, but most importantly, there were just a small element or two that caused the true die hard fans to create a cult following of that film. I am surprised to talk to some fans and would dare to utter such words as, "Oh c'mon, Daredevil wasn't that bad." Or, "Man, I can't wait for the unrated special collector's edition of Howard the Duck on high-def DVD!" But as these fans grow older, they are gathering in numbers on the internet and creating petitions to get their favorite films back out of film limbo, or are actually making the decisions in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Hollywood to turn their favorite properties into movie franchises.

With that being said, and some of our other favorite cult films out of the way, I'd like the rest of this article to focus on the 1995's Judge Dredd directed by Danny Cannon and starring Sylvester Stallone, Diane Lane, Rob Schnieder and the legendary Max "please stop calling me Ming the Merciless" Von Sydow. Considering that this film was released by Walt Disney pictures, and was rated R (for what I am guessing is extremely ridiculous scenes of violence,) which probably hurt it's initial release. More often than not, you try to find a happy medium with the comic book fans with a PG-13 rating, so that way you can have some sexy stuff and some violence, but with some fun stuff for the kiddies as well. But Dredd, much like it's action packed Von Sydow predecessor Conan the Barbarian (which was also rated R and also brought to the screen thanks to Edward R. Pressman) will doom it's box office sales as too risqué.

The film did stir up enough excitement and reviews amongst the Sci-Fi fan base, as it was nominated for several Saturn Awards for it's excellent costume and makeup work. Which, I must say, I really like comic book films that make it look like they took a panel from a book and made it come to life like an Alex Ross painting. The Judge Dredd costume looks highly authentic to the pictures in the books, and you could almost feel the cheesy plastic on their helmets. But only using some eye catchy makeup and costume design work (that sometimes makes some of the costumes look like it came out of Masters of the Universe mixed with a Imperial Storm trooper) does not gratify enough success. Some might feel a similar connection to another cult Von Sydow film, Flash Gordon which was also praised for it's set and costume design, but hugely failed in the writing and acting department. But aside from the eye candy featurettes, the post apocalyptic city is just enough to get a few ooh's and aah's out of people and will shortly thereafter begin to chuckle at Stallone's cheesy one liners (I knew you'd say dat.)

Ah yes, Stallone. How fitting that the crooked lipped action hero should play a cop in the future – he has played a cop in nearly every other genre so far. How many films can you think of where Stallone has played a cop? I'll give you a few seconds then I'll just shoot off from memory………

Nighthawks

Cop Land

Demolition Man

Tango & Cash

Cobra

D-Tox

Daylight

Stop! Or my mom will shoot

Talk about being type cast right? Actually, Stallone's acting and tight lipped one liners and total devoid of humanity in his role as Judge Dredd earned him a Razzi Award for worst actor (a rather prestigious account since he was simultaneously nominated for worst actor in Assassins for the same year). But where Stallone fails, he has his much more sympathetic partner and romance Judge Hershey (played by Diane Lane) and Dredd's kooky and streetwise sidekick and comedy relief Rob Schneider. Oh, but do we need to mention that the villain in the film is the psychotic (and also a cloned twin brother) of Judge Dredd – RICO! Just hearing Stallone say "Rico" in his crooked lipped way is hilarious. With the aid of some dazzling sparkling blue matching contacts and oozing super Italian charm, Hollywood decided that Armand Assante would be the best choice for a Bizarro Judge Dredd.

Now that the acting is out of the way, let us try to focus on the story. The film itself underwent several changes. Stallone was such a spoiled little brat that kept demanding changes; supposedly the original shooting script and the finished product are two entirely separate entities. But to get to his roots, Judge Dredd is based on a late 70's action hero that was initially published in Britain in the book 2000 AD. In a desolate world, there is too much violence and crime, so society created "Judges" members that upheld THE LAW as Judge, Jury and rarely as Executioner. Their world is in a post apocalyptic setting, as much has been destroyed from nuclear bombings and Judgment day. Most of the world is covered in desolate wastelands, while others have come together to create huge towering mega-oplis called Mega City 1 (which stretches from about Baltimore to Charlotte). In a land without law, only the few represent the law – like Judge Joseph Dredd.

SO that is the world as to what the comic book showcases, and the film is pretty close adaptation to it as well. The film is also pretty accurate on visualizing a 3-D world that is based from a 2-D medium. Many of the supporting characters have been brought to the screen, and I personally feel that the art department did an OUTSTANDING job of bringing some of those things to life to look just like the comic book. I feel that too often when there is a film adaptation of a comic book, costume designers and the rest of the art department try to go for this plush leather or art nouveux look (think of your initial response to the costume work in X-Men).

But what they did do successfully adapting was the visuals, but not the methodology of the world or the personalities of many of the characters. For example, in the comic book, Judge Dredd has only removed his helmet twice (within thirty years of comic book continuity), and in the book, his face is still censored. And from the look of people that see "old stony face's" appearance, are normally appalled with disgust. In the film, we see Dredd's face for a huge chunk of the film. Which is a constant dispute and cause of disruptions in Hollywood with, "but we need to see the actor's face to convey emotions to the audience. They can't think for themselves! We need to tell them what to think and how to feel based on the portrayal of our leads." Okay, my tirade is over. Actually, did you know that the role of Judge Dredd was initially offered to Arnold Schwarzenegger but he turned it down because he didn't like the idea that his face would be covered through out the whole film. Which would then cause Stallone to step in, demand all of the numerous changes to the script, and that is probably why you see Dredd "helmetless" throughout a majority of the film.

Secondly, it is FORBIDDEN for Judges to embrace a romantic relationship. Figure, this way they could focus solely on their work, not on the lives of others. Judges are also conditioned to be devoid of romance at an early age and also of corruption. Which also helps to play into the universal irony on our own government which the Dredd books frequently poke at. Yes, there is a lot of ironic humor abound in the Dredd books, and if you are a political weirdo, then it may be the book for you. So, when Dredd starts up with this lovely relationship with Hershey, they again break the rules of the Dredd mythos. What he shoulda done after he saved her was pull a lil Jack Burton on her and ride off into the sunset.

Well, I guess I have nothing else to offer for this film review. Again, like I said, I feel that Judge Dredd is an under rated action/sci-fi/comic book film. There have been a LOT worse (cough cough, the Hulk cough cough Fantastic Four series) but don't let Stallone's tight faced expressions and cheesy one liners bring ya down – embrace them! "I knew you'd say dat" Stallone is pretty bad ass in this movie, and it is probably my favorite of his cop portrayals. And just imagine if we could all ban together, we could get a petition together and get a special edition of this DVD out to the world of the underground cult comic book fans! So…who's with me?!

Indiana Jones and that thing about the Crystal Skull (movie review)

his movie takes place in 1957 and could possibly be the fourth of the five proposed Indy films. Now before I took up this endeavor and was able to criticize it, I had my fiancée and myself recap the previous Indy films to know what we were getting into. And before you happen to catch this film, check out a quick recap of the three previous films to see what has progressed so far:

1981's Raiders of the Lost Art so an introduction to the Indy character. A proposed adventure story that was the joint brain child of Hollywood legends George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. Legend has it, Spielberg was hoping to make a film similar to a James Bond picture, but Lucas claimed "I have something better." He proposed the story of an suave archeologist who is a college professor that spends his spare time plundering for artifacts and adventure. He is tempted by one legendary artifact The Art of the Covenant, a supposed "radio to God" that initially held the original Ten Commandments in it. But now there is a rival archeologist who has been employed by the Nazi's to fulfill Hitler's obsession on obtain figures of the occult. In a race against time, Indy and some comrades must discover the secret whereabouts of the Art of the Convenarnt before it falls into the wrong hands.

The film takes place in 1936 and it is primarily an homage to the action/adventurer serials of the 30's. We are also introduced to the elements of Indy: A previous relationship with the drunkard/daughter of Indy's mentor: Maryann Ravenwood, Indy has a fear of snakes, the film opens with a action packed couple scene, Indy fights an indestructible opponent who dies terribly and numerous chase scenes. In the end of the film, Indy's treasure of the Ark is locked up by the G-men somewhere in Washington and it's secrets are gone forever.

1984's Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is actually produced second in the series, but is technically a prequel since it takes place in 1935. The film is different from it's predecessors since there are no Nazi's but the film is riddled with some graphic violence, creepy crawlies, great comedy relief from the little Asian sidekick "Short round," a whiney damsel in distress (who will eventually marry Steven Spiellberg), and some gore and imagery that would even appease a hardcore horror fan like a heart being ripped out of a man's chest (which helped land the film as being the very first film to be rated PG-13).

Indy travels from Shanghai to India and gets roped into saving a village and returning one of their relics (that looks like a bread shaped rock). Whereas in the previous film Indy was all about fortune and glory, he now does this for what is right and ends up creating a pseudo family unit with Willy and Short round. He was exposed to the religion of Hebrew, now it is with the Hindus. A village of children has been abducted by a mad man to help mine for two other stones for complete domination.

The film has some great chase scenes, especially in some mine carts in a crazy looking Disney ride. It has some of the grossest scenes from a dinner ensemble where you are served: Beatles on a half shell, Chilled Monkey Brains, Eyeball Soup and Snake Surprise. Or how about walking through a tunnel of bugs that crawl all over you. Definitely the creepy crawlies is a staple of the Indy series. Finally there is a bit more of a romantic side story that shows off this arrogant romantic side of Dr. Jones as he is trying to seduce Willy, but at the same time acting like the ward of the Robin-esque Short Round (P.S. if you like Goonies, Data plays the role of his qwarky little kid and anything he says is funny) "No time fow wuv Docta Jones" Ahh, racial stereotypes – where have you gone?

1989's Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade goes back to the elements of Raiders with Nazi's, relics, chases, the occult, adventure, comedy, romance and it also has this element of a great father/son relationship between Harrison Ford and Sean Connery. The filmmakers though, well, James Bond was an initial inspiration for the Indy character, why not just hire the man who helped bring it about. Sean Connery plays Henry Jones Sr. and truly makes this film very memorable. I mean, how many times are you gonna see Indy get slapped for saying "Jesus Christ," "That's for blasphemy Junior!" Hehehe, classic.

This film is set in 1938 and Spielberg comments on it as "making up to Lucas for what they did to Temple of Doom." They return to a lot of the hardcore action/adventure stuff, but with a lot of side comedy between father and son. The Nazi's play a perfect movie villain, and the hunting for the Holy Grail has been an adventure quest from the days of King Arthur.

Personally, this is my favorite in the series just solely based on the father/son dynamic, the return of the Nazi's as antagonists, returning John Rhys-Davies as Salla and even bringing in the dim-witted Marcus Brody for the adventure.

Indy is eventually able to find the Holy Grail, and like the film's predecessors of Indy being exposed to the religions of Hebrew, then Hindu – it is now a focus on Christianity. Using his father's notes, a lure of all of his teachings and studies – he is able to find the Grail and save his father with it. Unfortunately the Grail falls into a chasm and the Indy character is still obsessed with finding and obtaining the relic. But it takes of all people, Henry Sr., to tell Indy "Junior – let it go." A great film and a lot of fun, and in my opinion it should be the end of the series. I mean once you get the Holy Grail – how can you go any further?

And now, without further ado…….

2008's Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull returns Indy to the screen after a near 20 year hiatus from the cinema. Like I said before, the film takes place in 1957 – which would make the Indy character 58 years old but is played by Harrison Ford who is 65. Now, I have a LOT of willing suspension of disbelief (which is the fuel for basically any geek that enjoys comics, cartoons, fantasy or professional wrestling) but there is just some elements that even I have a hard time swallowing. Here is just a brief list (SOME SPOILERS AHEAD):

1) An atomic bomb goes off in a town, Indy climbs into a lead lined fridge, which flies high up into the sky, rolls and crashes into the desert landscape and Indy rolls out. 2) While in a high speed chase through the Amazon, people swashbuckler on top of their cars. 3) Commanding an army of monkeys that swing through the Amazon and attack the Communists. 4) Finally and most sad, is seeing this rather old Indy doing things he did years ago. And I love Harrison Ford, and growing up I think he was just a hero for a lot of kids during that era – but seeing him now, I felt like "Hey Indy, I think it's time to hang up the fedora and whip."

There were some other scenes that were just a little hard to swallow, but I'd have to say the film overall was quite enjoyable. A brief plot: Filling in the role that the Nazi's had, we now have "the Reds" hunting down some infamous crystal skulls that can help fill you up with unlimited knowledge. The film opens up at Area 51 and we see there is a connection with Roswell and the alien crash landing to our picture, and we also have a brief cameo of the Ark of the Covenant as it's crate is slightly bust open.

Indy is criticized for helping the Commies, and loses his job as a professor at his college. He befriends a young greaser - Mutt (played by Transformers Shia Lebouf) – yeah I know? Mutt?! But why now, Indy was also named after a dog. So, Mutt needs Indy's help to help rescue Indy's former classmate /archeologist "Ox" who knows of the current whereabouts of the greatest of the Crystal Skulls.

Mutt and Indy hunt down the whereabouts of Ox and an infamous Conquistador who found El Dorado, the Lost City of Gold, in the 15th century. They find his tomb, get the skull and will eventually get trapped by the Commies who are holding Ox prisoner – but also Maryanne Ravenwood –who is also the mother of Mutt and we later discover that Mutt is the son of Indy. Eventually the crew of explorers goes through some chases after chases and will eventually discover the Lost City of Gold. Inside, we learn that Aliens had educated the Mayans centuries ago, their bodies were made out of crystal, and the Crystal Skull is actually the skull of one of the thirteen alien ambassadors who were archeologists themselves. Yeah, I know it is too much to hear right now. In the end of the film, El Dorado and the aliens are transported to an inter-dimensional portal. Indy and Marryanne finally rekindle their relationship and get married. The fedora rolls up to Mutt's feet and we think he is to be the predecessor until Indy takes it back with a smile and struts out of the church.

Mutt very well be the predecessor of the series as Lucas is already starting a rumor mill for a fifth film where Indy would play the sidekick and Mutt would be the main action star. It is the end of the era already seeing Indy going out there, but now I feel like where the third film had the father son dynamic, this film has the roles reversed. In fact, there is even ANOTHER scene on a motorcycle where Mutt evades the Commies and smiles – but Indy scowls at him. Very similar to when Henry Sr. and Jr. are escaping Austria – Indy causes one of them to crash, he smiles and daddy is scowling at him.

Finally, if you are an Indy completist – such as myself, you should check this picture out. Again, there are some elements that are a little hard to swallow – but Indy is such a great character. I think if you enjoy the elements of Batman and/or James Bond, or even some action/adventure/sci-fi fan, you will enjoy this film. I also recommend you go out and buy the the Adventures of Young Indiana Jones to see where Indy came from before his cinematic adventures, it is a great show and very educational. Check it out, it is the first great film of the summer season.

The Dark Knight (movie review)

Okay so my fiancée and I went to go to see The Dark Knight last night and I was QUITE satisfied and my expectations were met. Y'know, I have only seen about three new movies this summer, but this one definitely takes the cake as far as the acting, the action, the explosions, the story and maintaining the Batman mythos. Before I go on any further, I will end up talking a little bit about the earlier Batman films over the years, some of the comics that drew inspiration in the Dark Knight and the spoilers in the film. So you have been warned Batfans – I will spoil this film for you if you keep on reading……

So as some of you might already know, this film is a sequel to Batman Begins which is a reboot of the Batman franchise and pretty much throws out the previous "classic Batman films" that were predominate in the 90's including Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever and Batman & Robin. Whereas the classic films were just ridiculed for the most part as getting progressively campy and silly and at sometimes totally ridiculous (like Penguins with rocket launchers), the Nolan brothers' films continue to show this gritty dark side to Batman that he deserves and they have created this universe where having a "Batman" looks like it could happen. They don't throw any "well he does it because he's a supervillian," schtick that you would find in comics in the old days, now they practically provide a science and/or methodology on how or why certain things happen in these films. What I like about these newer films is the believability this is represented in a comic book film. Instead of me getting lost into my criticizing tirades as I have traditionally done in the past, I will instead list my pro's and con's in a detailed and bulleted list that way you can just jump to the info that you would like to see. BUT, what I can tell you is that you need to watch this film, but be prepared to take out a good chunk of your day out to view it, as it is 2 ½ hours long.

What I liked about in this movie:

  • Heath Ledger was amazing. I found him terrifying, mesmerizing and hilarious all rolled into one. He is definitely someone to portray the Joker where you can find the character as absolutely terrifying and then laugh at something dark that he does.
  • Explosions and action. This film could satisfy any action genre nut's taste with the amount of gunfire and blazing fury displayed on the screen. There were at times I felt that it was a little excessively violent, and it made me think of my nine year old brother that wanted to see this film. Thinking back to all of the carnage – I would def NOT show this film to a young mind.
  • An inspiration from the maxi-series The Long Halloween. Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale do an excellent job on a line of books that are "in the vein" of Frank Miller's Batman Year One. Thinking of this book and the portrayal of Batman / Gordon / Harvey Dent working together to clean up the city AND showing the end of a crime era of organized crime into "super villains" made this film more believable for me that this would happen.
  • The introduction of Harvey Dent into the story. They show that he is a determined D.A. and his focus to finally take down the mob's hold of Gotham, but more importantly how a good man could "fall from grace" and turn into Two-Face.
  • Lucious Fox is Batman's "Q". I don't know how any can't see an influence from the James Bond series, especially since the pre-dominant crew is from jolly 'ol ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />England.
  • Showcasing not just the heroes of Gotham, but the people of Gotham that create a further extension of the character that is Gotham City. I think in previous films we have just gotten a sense of the city by how dark it is, the aroma of crime and the architectural style – but now I felt it was a little bit more personalized. Kind of like the first two Spidey films that we got to see the people of NY pulling together to help Spidey, I saw the people of Gotham loosing their minds and at the same time uniting to make their own choices and not be directed by and fueled by their fear and intimidation from the Joker.
  • The scale and scope of this film – I liked how it was not only confined to Gotham, but featured some stuff in Hong Kong.
  • The ascension of evil and control from the Joker character. Although they really don't show his origin story, nor do they mention anything that he fell into a bat of acid, I felt like we were just to assume that he was a very articulate and well planned criminal mastermind, deceptive, misleading, highly intelligent and his desire to just "watch the world burn." The film starts off with him bumping off each of his own men during a bank robbery and then he sells his services to the organized crime of Gotham in a promises he would kill the Batman. By starting off a sole criminal he slowly takes over one gang after another until he has a hold of the whole city and even tries to spread his disease to Harvey Dent by turning him into another super villain.
  • The symbolism that Harvey Dent is the White Knight and Batman is the Dark Knight (one of the last lines in the film).
  • The struggle and a bit of a love triangle between Rachel Dawes, Bruce and Harvey Dent. You really see and can kind of feel all of the extra issues and dilemmas that it takes to be a hero (both in the perspective of Batman and Harvey Dent). But the number one thing that Bruce Wayne sacrifices for the little people of Gotham is a simple life, especially being able to fall in love and have a stable life with a woman. You really feel for his dilemma.
  • The film opens up with the Scarecrow's gang being busted – to me this was essential and really makes a smooth transition from one movie to the next by just briefly featuring the last villain. I think connections like this, as in the opening of Rocky films, are what make sequels tight and flowing with one another.
  • You get a preview of The Watchmen which comes out in March. Def the next highly anticipated comic movie. But will the ambition of the Graphic Novel be just too much for the silver screen? Only time will tell. The images look great, especially down to the detail of The Comedian's smiley face button.
  • Setting up the Batman series for more continuing tales. The film ends on an extremely dark note (no pun intended) but within the last five minutes or so we have the following bad events: 1) Batman takes the blame for Harvey Dent's murders so that his good image is maintained. 2) Lucious Fox quits Wayne Enterprises because he doesn't like the idea of spying on people with their cell phones (but he has to type in his name first) 3) Rachel Dawes' final message that she was going to tell Bruce she was going to stick with Harvey and not wait for Bruce to give up the Batman mantle as burned up by Alfred. HONESTLY, I felt like the ending of the film was like in the same vein as The Empire Strikes Back, by having your characters/hero and their loneliest point in the middle act to pull them up into greatness for the grand finale.

What I didn't like in this movie:

  • This film was primarily shot during the day. I sure it might have been an angle to save a little cash on the production but I have always felt Gotham should be primarily dark to continue with that creepy/grimey atmosphere. But I always like to think about legendary Batman writer/editor Denny O'Neil who likes to say something along the line of "Metropolis is New York city in the spring, during the day in a rather rich and prosperous part of time. Gotham is in New York City during the fall, at night in one of the poorest parts of town." SO based off of that summarized quote from Denny, I felt this film was showing too much "Metropolis" and not enough "Gotham"
  • Introducing and bumping off the Harvey Dent character waaaay too fast. I really wish they took about a film or two to showcase Harvey, his tackling of organized crime, building of the relationships between Batman, Gordon and himself and perhaps hinting about his mental issues. I really liked how they treated the Harvey Dent character in the Batman the Animated Series that showed a strong friendly relationship between Harvey and Bruce Wayne, but that he also had a dark side that could snap into a violent mood swing at any time AND that he had a history of some psychological issues. In this film, we see Dent is a bit of a bad ass, but taking a guy's gun from him that tries to shoot him in the court room, he hints about his dad's "lucky coin" and then he really goes off the deep end after his girlfriend dies. I mean, I can kind of understand loosing your girlfriend in an explosion is a terrible thing – but then denying the use of skin graphs on yourself because "you want to be truly seen for what you are….Two Faced." It is nice when the Joker talks to him and basically manipulates the situation by telling Two Face that it was the police department's fault that his Rachel was murdered and then "pushing their White Knight" into darkness. But Hell, at least it is A LOT better than Tommy Lee Jones' interpretation in Batman Forever that treats him more like a third rate Joker.
  • I know this is totally out of everyone's control, but the Joker character lives in the end – but now unfortunately Heath Ledger is dead. SO, I feel some fans might want to see a return of this character, but probably others that will be resentful of someone trying to fill Heath Ledger's shoes (especially if he wins an Oscar for this role). But then again, I'm sure fans said the same thing about Jack Nicholson that "Cesar Romero is the only Joker" and other fans of modern time might have said "Jack Nicholson and/or Mark Hamill are the only Jokers for me – screw this gay cowboy – he can't pull off the legendary clown price of Crime."
  • Maggie Gyllenhall (yeah, Jake's sister who actually screws the Joker in Brokeback) replaces the rather cute Katie Holmes. I feel like Maggie's got a pretty damn saggy face that the Joker should have sliced on the corners to give her a prettier smile.
  • Batman's gruffy voice starts to get a little annoying. I wonder if Christian Bale couldn't talk normally after shooting his Batman scenes. I liked in the last film when he would throw in a few lines that will creep you the Hell out – now he is in these extended scenes of dialogue when you are like "Dude, take a throat lozenge or something – you sound like you just ate a carton of cigarettes."
  • Finally, the overall length of this film. Sure it might have helped that I saw this film at midnight and might have been a little tired but this film is 2 ½ hours long. What happened to the days when you can tell a story on the screen in 90 minutes. Now everyone in Hollywood needs to make Epics. I wish Hollywood would try to slim down their tales and stretch out storylines further so that they can focus more on the characters and details. I felt like this film COULD HAVE been just a focus on the end of the mob, the rise of the Joker and the friendship/camaraderie between Batman, Gordon and Dent. They could have done the whole Two Face thing in another film or two and focus more on the tension of friendships. But, we'll have to see what the Batman film has in store – cause I can't wait.

25 randomn things about me

1) Growing up, it was hard being the Polish kid in a predominate Italian town. It was sometimes embarassing to be constantly told you are an idiot due to a stereotype - but now I've learned to become proud of my heritage

2) I have a fear of Sharks but a love for the film JAWS. I can sometimes be in the shower with my eyes shut and think of Jaws and I have to open my eyes at the very second or a I freak out. In fact, this can happen in nearly any body of water with my eyes shut.

3) I have six wonderful siblings who I love very much

4) I used to be an independent film maker but gave it up to become a teacher

5) I used to a do A LOT of writing and really enjoyed. I currently have about 4-5 screenplays in my parents attic that will probably never see the light of day

6) Growing up, my heroes were Hulk Hogan, Pee Wee Herman, Batman and my Dad (in no particular order)

7) I got a tattoo on my shoulder of a flaming skull with a snake tongue and blood dripping from it's mouth because an ex-girlfriend thought I was crazy for enjoying House of a 1,000 corpses

8) I love comic books - sometimes I wish I wasn't teaching but writing stories about Batman and such

9) I'm very connected to my childhood, especially how proud I am of my massive collection of action figures and other nostalgia

10) In Catholic school, I was teased about my man boobs and forced to do the truffle shuffle

11) the reason I am a teacher is because I missed my family when I first started doing this in NY. Now, working with young people reminds me of being around my siblings

12) My fiancee tells me that I like to overdue things - I'm currently over doing the gym and categorizing my toys

13) I have been to premiere days to every Star Wars film that has come out, beginning with the re-release fo the Special Editions. But, it was only Episode III that I saw at midnight

14) I have mixed views on religion some times. Some times I wonder if it is all a fake story that we were told as kids to be good or someone was going to punish you. Some times I wonder how ancient civilizations worshipped their Gods, now we view them as funny mythology and fables. But one of the things that worries me is if/when I raise kids - what religious philosophies will they get?

15) I went through a lot of career hopes through out high school. At one point I was hardcore set on becoming a professional wrestler. Even went searching for a wrestling school in Atlanta

16) I love dressing up for Halloween - just something about being someday else for just one night.

17) I believe in ghosts and life on other worlds - and before I die I'd love to see an astronaut reach Mars (and hopefully open up a resort just like in Total Recall) !

18) Another one of my biggest fears is when robots have a revolution and take over humanity

19) Another Apocalyptic fear is the Mad Max one where we run out of energy and turn on one another

20) I'm full of a willingful suspension of disbelief. I really like to think that super heroes are out there - and that I would love to be one someday

21) If I had to be re-incarnated, I'd be a squirrel

22) I once watched the entire star wars saga in one day

23) I once beat Nintendo's Legend of Zelda standing up

24) I'm a huge fan of heavy metal, although I don't look like ti any more

25) I'd love to grow a moustache, but my fiancee refuses to kiss me lol

Friday the 13th (remake) movie review

Friday the 13th movie review
A remake that you SHOULD remember

I’ve already kind of read some of the reviews that this movie got elsewhere on the net, it is pretty much unanimous that the movie sucked and it is getting ripped apart by critics. Well, of course it is, I don’t think many critics understand horror films and dismiss them as stupid, childish, immature, cheap thrill rides. But I disagree, I really liked the movie, I think it showcased and excellent blend of horror and comedy, some interesting deaths, pretty good scenes of some nudity but most importantly – the return of the greatest slasher of them all – Jason Voorhees.
For those of you that know me, or have read some of my previous posts, you know of my love of the Friday the 13th series and the Jason character. You might have also known that I once called out sick from work to have a Friday the 13th marathon drinking game (it was rough by the way and I made it all the way up to Jason X before I got too sick). I’ve been through the good (F13 part 4 & 6), the bad (F13 part X & 8) and the ugly (F13 part 5) but I hold each one of these films as a treasure from my childhood. I mean, how many films can you think of where the audience roots for the bad guy, while simultaneously being frightened by him?
When I initially heard that a Friday the 13 part 12 idea was scrapped and was going to be turned into a remake, I groaned and worried, “oh man, not another – is there no franchise safe from Hollywood?” But, I then heard that the team behind the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes were going to be working on it, along with the writing team from Freddy vs. Jason AND Paramount was going to be involved in the franchise again – I felt the project was going to be in good hands. I became curious as to what direction they might take as far as a remake went and I was hoping that the film would perhaps relieve some of the mystery behind the Jason character and not just “pop him into the series” for the sake of making more sequels. And then prolong those sequels and try to make his back story just a knock off of Michael Myers.
Yeah, that’s right – I said it. Jason / Friday the 13th has been a knock off of Halloween films right from the get go. Now this is just my humble opinion, and I still love the Friday films regardless but here is my biggest gripe. Okay, so the original Friday film ended with Jason’s mom dying, and then the second film opens up saying that “by the way, Jason never really died, he was alive all along and saw his mom murdered that night.” I feel the producers had to do this because the original Friday the 13th film was so popular they needed a sequel. SO they must have done a springboard off the original ending of Jason coming out of the water to do his infamous final scare. Jason became the main killer for parts 2-4, and then it seems attention was going to be sent onto Jason’s childhood nemesis Tommy Jarvis (originally played by the legendary Corey Feldman) so they didn’t use Jason as the murder for part 5.
BUT in part 6 he came back as basically a zombie, in seven he was defeated by supernatural/E.S.P powers, in eight he was washed away by toxic waste. BUT in nine he came back whole again and the film makers tried to create a horror film for the horror fans with Jason Goes to Hell. A film with a new direction in the series since obtained by New Line Cinema, and featured homage to horror films and gore fans alike (such as Evil Dead) but I felt the plot was too much similar going back to the Halloween series. In part 9, they claim that Jason keeps coming back and there was this curse on his blood line and he can’t rest until he ends his bloodline. SO he has to kill his sister, and then his niece and his niece’s daughter. Just like the Laurie Strode angle and ended up with a druid cult in the original Halloween films. Finally, going back full circle, we have created another horror franchise named after a holiday, featuring a masked/strong psychopath, killing teenagers and having their corpses drop/pop up around the place. Halloween set the tone for the slasher genre with numerous imitators in the 80’s (April Fool’s Day, Graduation Day, Silent Night Deadly Night) but it is Friday the 13th that dared to bare with it’s gore and interesting kills.

SPOILER ALERTS LISTED BELOW:

Well, I was a little disappointed that the film didn’t really tie up all loose ends from the original series, and is kind of like a remake – but featured elements from about the first three or four Friday films. The film opens up on June 13, 1980 just like a near word for word remake for the ending of the original film. Pamela Voorhees is giving her speech to the last camp counselor before getting her head cut off. And then out of no where, Jason is a little boy standing by her decapitated body. SO my whole thing they need to talk about if they make a sequel to this or just dedicate a whole film to Jason’s back story is, “if he loved his mother so much and she was going around killing all of these counselors on his birthday to avenge him – why didn’t he just tell her, hey mommy I’m really not dead by the way!”
The film then jumps to modern day, and then begins almost like the second Friday the 13th film. A group of teens gathering around a camp fire and recapping Jason’s legend and how “you know what’s weird is that Jason’s body just came back.” Thankfully, the teens get drunk, one girl rubs oil over her boobs and they are murdered off one by one by “bag head” Jason. Yeah, just like Jason in the original Friday part 2, this Jason wears like this burlap sack thing wrapped over his head. For some reason or another, there is rumored pot field growing around Crystal Lake that initially this group came to find. Well, I guess Jason didn’t like the fact they were touching his bud, so he murders them, and then another two stumble into his house and take his mom’s locket. Well, thank God one of those kids looks QUITE like Pamela Voorhees and Jason keeps her trapped in his underground tunnel of his cabin for about six weeks.
So, that one girl ends up having a brother who goes searching for her, and he ends up crossing paths with yet another group of teens that want to stay and some asshole’s parents’ cabin for the weekend. Well, it isn’t too long before this group of kids intrude on Jason’s territory of Crystal Lake and he kills them off one by one. That’s another gripe that I have, if these people know that Jason is going around murdering people, why would you want to build a super luxurious house on Crystal Lake? The brother character ends up coming to a barn, which made me think a lot about of the infamous barn scenes in Friday part 3. There is this really dirty red neck character who also offers to sell some of Jason’s weed in the woods. Later on the red neck hears some scuffling coming from upstairs in the attic, and it is Jason trying to steal some kerosene. BUT along the way, Jason also discovers his legendary hockey mask and puts it on after the red neck comments on seeing his face, “oh dude, that’s not right.”
Well, I won’t get into tooooooo many details, but the film is intertwined with some pretty funny jokes, a lot of pot smoking humor, pretty good titty scenes and okay deaths. I wished there was some more interesting and original deaths (and a higher total body count) that they could have taken advantage of (once I saw the tools and circular saw in the tool shed, I was hoping Jason would have a field day). But for the most part, he stays true to his machete, there is some interesting slow gouging and penetration of various objects and he even proves to be an excellent archer. But overall, I really enjoyed the movie, even if I was criticized for laughing too much whenever someone gets murdered – and others might criticize the film for being a little bit too predictable. But, I just blame that on the genre and what Scream did to it years ago. So, you should go see this movie if you are true to the slasher genre or just a Jason complete-est. Or perhaps you just wanna take your kids and they can relive the Jason craze you had from years ago.

Zombie Journal: Day 27

Journal, it's been a long hard trek over these past couple of weeks. I've seen it all, seen shit that would make you turn white. Yesterday, I was forced to kill my very own mother. She was the only one close to me through this whole thing. The last of the survivors when we left our place so long ago. All it took was just a scratch from one of those things that did her in. It wasn't long until I saw her slowly die before my eyes.
I remember running out of my apartment that day. The news was talking of this so called epidemic and plague that was flying through the air like madness. It wasn't long until it hit our small little town, a place I thought we'd always be safe from any epidemics or natural disasters. But the madness spread like wild fire in the streets. One local after the next was bit or scratched and spread the infection. These crazy locals made it up to my house. It started with one, but before I knew it, they multiplied like rabbits in heat.
They went for the windows and doors first. It's a good thing we live in a two story house to keep them down a little bit, but once one of them knows that their is meat inside; they all come for the feast. It's funny, you grow up watching films like that with that same scenario. You look at the chararacters who either act helpless or stupid, and all you can say to yourself is "freaking idiot, just get the chainsaw and kill them." Well, it's a totally different story when you see the living dead walking up your doorstep aching to eat the flesh off your bones.
I felt that when I saw them come, when they hunted down my family in the streets and even when I fought them off my mother. Watching something and experiencing it are two totally different things. I would have never thought I'd experience Armageddon and combating myself against an army of the undead.
What film experience I did had and common knowledge of the zombies, it's obivious that you have to go for their head. I'd seen too many people on the streets shoot them in the arms and chest but the zombies wouldn't stop. Dear God man, just shot the bastards right in the head. But, it his hard when you first experience them. Well all you want to think is that perhaps they are just innocent people that are mentally sick and think of you as something else - food. You can't reason with them, nor do you truly want to hurt the - especially if you knew of them from the past life. You just can't go and hit your best friend or brother in the head, your insticts fight against you. You still hold that slight piece of morality and disbelief that *perhaps* they're faking it, or just a little crazy. I had to go through the scenario plenty of times to kill my loved ones when I knew they're finished.
You're pretty much dead once your bit or scratched, that's it - your death is sealed at that point.
I saw it with my Mom, when I spent most of my time looking out for her around every turn. Hoping to make it through this Apocalypse with the last loved one I had left. But sometimes, fate is unavoidable. I must have been put on this Earth to suffer, and I saw that when I had to kill my own mother by cutting her head off from her shoulders. So horrific, especially watching her give you that look in your eye just before the blade met her neck. All I could say was "I'm sorry" or "I love you" who really knows, it happened so fast I still want to avoid it and drown it out. It's why I'm just trying to waste my cries and emotions onto this paper. Perhaps after I become one of these things, the next survivor will feel my pain and learn from it. In the mean time, I hear some gun fire below me; perhaps the cavalry has finally arrived. Or maybe it's some other fighters I can team up with. Either which, I need to forget about my suffering, and continue to fight for my life.

Best regards my friend,

Bo

Action figure listing: GI Joe: A Real American Hero

Joes Cobra
82 – Snakeyes (missing a black Uzi submachine gun and a black pack of explosives.) figure also is missing his right hand and the fingers have been ground off of the left hand)

1983 – Cobra Soldier (missing a black Dragunov’s sniper rifle.) figure has legs glued into waist Left leg is broken near hip – needs to be reglued or hip joint repaired.)

82/83 – Steeler v1.5 driver of MOBAT tank (has helmet but missing a black Uzi submachine gun, and a black binocular/visor.)

1984 – Scrap Iron has red recolored RAR pistol and dark blue recolored remote control activator (missing a black RAR pistol, a five piece missile system, a black remote control “activator”, and two red missiles. Of the five piece missile system, two pieces snapped together to form the body of the missile system, while the other three pieces formed the legs and base of the system. )

1984 – Spirit has red/green belt but using a light tan recolored backpack from the accessory pack # 2(missing a light green auto-arrow rifle, light green backpack, and a brown and white eagle named "Freedom".

1984 – Zartan driver of Chameleon swamp skier with black backpack and figure is using a green recolored pistol from the battle gear accessory pack 3 (missing a black pistol, a chest piece, two thigh pads, and a mask.

1984 – Mutt using a grey helmet recolor from Accessory pack 3 (appendages are loose) missing a black helmet, black Ingram Mac-11 submachine gun with silencer, black night stick, black leash, black facemask, and black dog "Junkyard".

1984 – Storm Shadow (figure is aged and yellow more than white) has backpack, two black swords and a silver sword and bow) but missing black nunchucks and true black sword)

1985 – Alpine , and a tan backpack. (missing a black sub-machine gun, a black pick axe, a black grappling-hook rifle, a black grappling hook attached to a weight by a string) figure has had legs glued together)

1984 – Wild Weasel pilot of Cobra Rattler (has no accessories)

1984 – Firefly using red sub machine gun and walkie talkie from battle gear accessory pack 3(missing all accessories - a light green submachine gun, a light green walkie-talkie, a gray backpack, and a gray backpack cover.

1986 – Sci Fi with black laser rifle and black hose (missing a green backpack)

1985 – Snow Serpent with AK-47 and , a gray missile which attached to the side of the backpack, and a stand for the missile (missing, a blue pack that went around its waist, two white snow shoes, a large white backpack.) figure has legs glued into hips and waist glued into torso)

1986 – General Hawk version 2 w/ green helmet (missing a black handgun, and a green backpack.) figure has broken rubber band

1985 – Snow Serpent (no accessories, broken in half and missing right arm)

1986 – Wet Suit w/ one black flipper (missing an orange sled, orange backpack, orange flashlight, a black mouthpiece, and one black flipper.)

1985 – Cobra Eel w/ two black flippers, a black air-mask (missing a black harpoon gun, , a black backpack, and a black jetpack that attached to the backpack.)

1986 – Leatherneck ( has a black rifle and a black pack) EVEN THOUGH MOLDS ARE THE SAME, FIGURE SHOULD COME WITH A GREY VARIANT FOR THE GUN AND THE GREEN VARIANT FOR THE BACK PACK)

1985 – Crimson Guard with a black bayonet rifle has dark blue cobra elite backpack from battle gear accessory 4, (missing a red backpack.)

1985 – Torch (complete w/ backpack and torch)

1985 – Tele Viper (a black scanner, a black packpack, and a black hose that attached the scanner to the backpack.)

1986 – Sgt. Slaughter version 2 (missing brown baton)

1986- Zandar with a a black rifle (missing and a blue backpack.) figure is broken in half and needs to be glued back together)

1986 – Roadblock version 2 (missing a silver machine gun and a silver tripod.) figure has waist glued to torso and legs are glued to waist)

1986 – Thrasher driver of Drednok Thundermachine (missing black lacrosse stick)

1986 – Low-Light with a black backpack. (missing a black sniper’s rifle, a black bipod, black uzi, and). Figure has green paint glue on face)

1986 – Strato Viper pilot of Cobra Night Raven (has no accessories)

1987 – Chuckles (has belt (but broken at very bottom of holster and hand gun) figure is broken in half and needs to be heavily repaired. Rusted screw prevents putting them back

1986 – Strato Viper pilot of Cobra Night Raven (has no accessories)

1987 – Maverick, member of Battleforce 6000 (missing a blue helmet and a silver gun) figure has had left leg glued into hip)

1986 – Motor Viper driver of Cobra STUN (no accessories and figure has left leg glued to waist)

1986 – B.A.T (complete) with a silver hand, a silver claw, a silver gun, a silver flamethrower, and a black backpack that could hold three of the attachments. Figure has sticker on chest missing)

1987 – Fast Draw (has red visor shield but missing 2 white hand controls, 2 white missiles, a green backpack, a face shield, a blue mouthpiece, and two black hoses that attached the controls to the backpack.
The same black hoses were available with many other figures.

1987 – W.O.R.M.S the exclusive Cobra Maggot driver (includes helmet but missing antenna)

1987 – Blaster, member of Battleforce 6000 (missing green face plate and a silver gun)

1987 – Crystal Ball (missing hypno shield)

1987 – Outback (figure has been Frankensteined from rip cord) missing a black Hekler & Koch rifle, a tan web belt, a green flashlight, and a tan survival backpack.

1987 – Zanzibar driver of Dreadnok Air Skiff) missing a black handgun, a brown hammer, and a brown spear. Figure has legs glued into waist

1987 – Law (missing a white helmet, a black leash, a black uzi, a black nightstick, and a brown dog, “Order”.) figure has had legs glued into hips)

1987 – Cobra Commander in Battle Armor –version 3 (missing a pistol, a backpack, and a mouthpiece.)

1987 – Psyche Out has silver backpack (missing a black handgun, a silver antenna that attached to the back of his head, a silver handheld box with a red radar dish, and two silver wristpieces that also head red radar dishes.)

1987 – Cobra Commander in Battle Armor – version 3 but Frankensteined with Xamot’s head (missing a pistol, a backpack, and a mouthpiece.)

1987 – Jinx has one silver sword and a black backpack (that could hold both swords (missing a silver naginata, one silver swords).

1987 – Raptor (missing a brown falcon, and head piece)

1988 – Iron Grenadier (2) one of them has a red pistol but missing a black submachine gun, and a gold sword.
1987 – Tunnel Rat (missing a black rifle, a dark green backpack, a dark green bag, and two dark green flashlights.)

1989 – Frag Viper (missing a black submachine gun, a black backpack, a black grenade throwing tool, a black hose, a black tube, and three black grenades.) figure has piece of crotch broken off)

1987 – Backstop driver of Persuader (missing helmet and silver pistol)

1989 – T.A.R.G.A.T includes grey jet pack but (missing a a blue face shield, a grey pistol, a gold handgun and a black hose)

1987 – Mercer (missing a light gray rifle and a black backpack.)

1989 – H.E.A.T Viper (missing gray bazooka, a gray backpack, six gray bazooka shells, a gray tube, and a black hose.).

1988 – Spearhead with an orange backpack, (missing a large white rifle, a white machete, a yellow helmet, and his brown bobcat “Max”.) figure has been glued around waist, hips and head)

1991 – Incinerator with a silver flamethrower and a black backpack,, (missing a silver catapult, a rubberband, two bright orange plastic “flames”, and a black hose (that attached the flamethrower and backpack).
The rubberband wrapped around the arm of the catapult, so that it could really launch the two orange “flames”.

1988 – Hardball (missing grey grenade launcher and green backpack) figure has had legs glued together)

1992 – Slice (missing a wide black knife, a thick black sword, and a black figure stand.)

1988 – Sgt Slaughter version 3 driver of Warthog (missing green drill instructor hat)

1992 – Toxo Zombie and a black figure stand (missing a green water cannon (with a removable black plunger).

1988 – Hit & Run (missing a black assault rifle, a green knife, a two piece black duffel bag, and a black grappling hook connected by black string to a black crank.)

1993 – Night Creeper version 2 (missing a light blue bow, two light blue swords, a light blue sickle, two light blue dueling knives, and a light blue figure stand.)

1989 – Sgt Slaughter version 4 (missing brown baton)

1993 – Banzai has one longer pink sword that is slightly curved and a pink wide knife (missing one pink sword, two pink dueling knives, a pink sickle, a pink axe, and a pink figure stand.)

1989 – Sgt Slaughter version 4 (missing brown baton)

2002 – Cobra Commander version 13 (has backpack and silver pistol, silver harpoon rifle, but needs a gold Sound Attack snake staff.)

1989 – Countdown w/ blue and silver helmet (missing a silver gun, a silver backpack, a silver grappling hook and silver weight attached by black string)

2007 – Cobra Commander version 24 (complete w/ removable helmet, gun and stand)

1989 – Snake Eyes version 3 (missing a gray sub-machine gun, a black backpack, a gray sword, a set of three-piece nunchuks, and a gray blow gun.)

1990 – Freefall with a green helmet (missing a dark gray rifle, , a black airmask, a dark gray backpack, and a hose to attach the mask to the backpack.)

1990 – Salvo with a brown missile launcher/backpack (missing a brown helmet, , five brown missiles, a brown mine layer, five brown land mines, and a black case.)

1991 – Red Star (has blue hat, brown back pack with black antenna and knife and missle launcher, a black double-barrelled hand cannon (the two barrels were easily removable), a black ammo belt (that attached the hand cannon to the backpack) but missing a black assault rifle, , and a red missile. Figure has burnt left hand and a burn mark on inside of left thigh)

1992 – General Flagg (missing black rifle, a black missile, a black figure stand, a four piece catapult - a green base, the green arm, a rubber band, and a black lever.) figure is covered with melted wax)

1992 – Duke version three – (missing a brown submachine gun, a brown knife, a tan helmet, a tan cannon (spring loaded, that actually fired), a brown cannon tripod, a red missile, and a black figure stand.)

1992 – Big Bear (missing a black rifle, a black backpack, a black missile launcher (spring loaded, that
really fired), two yellow missiles, and a black figure stand.)

1992 – Mutt version 3 has a a net made up of two black launching poles and two black weights, Mutt's trusty black dog "Junkyard" , black hand gun and a black figure stand (missing a blue Electronic Battle Flash net launcher (spring loaded, that actually fired),.) figure also has wax dripped on it

1992 – Barricade, has red/gold helmet, a dark blue missile launcher (spring loaded, that really fired), and a yellow "battering ram" missile, and a black figure stand ) but missing a dark blue submachine gun, a dark blue backpack (that the missile launcher could connect to)

1998 – Action Marine keychain (no accessories) broken rubber band)

1998 – Action Soldier covered in paint

1998 – Action Sailor (repainted to resemble Cobra)

Roughly 75 G.I. Joe and Cobra action figures

Accessories:
Accessory Pack #1 (communications back pack (2), binoculars, M-11 Submachine Gun, XK-1 Power Crossbow, ammo backpack, laser backpack, Communications Headset, brown helmet (variant of original Joe’s) (2), light tan figure stands (3), clear visor used on original Joes

Accessory Pack #2 (brown mine detector back pack missing the three mines, brown mine detector backpack w/three mines, green helmet (2), Cobra Commander (83) dark blue Laser Pistol (2), bazooka, marine jungle backpack, Helicopter Assault Trooper Backpack, Cobra’s dark blue Dragunov (SVD) Sniper Rifle (2), Cobra officer’s dark blue AK-47 Attack Rifle, Destro’s dark blue High Density Laser Gun

Accessory Pack # 3 (tracker backpack, helmet, Heavy Machine Gunner Backpack and Ammo Box (3), Flamethrower backpack (2), High-Density Laser Rifle (3), Sub-Machine Gun (4), visor (3), harpoon rifle (3), flame thrower, rifle, pistol, monocular, binocular, red walkie talkie, green figure stand (4) Ingram Mac-11, mutt’s grey helmer, blowtorch’s grey helmet (2), rip cord’s grey helmet, duke’s grey helmet (4), Scrap iron’s red gun (2)

Accessory Pack # 4 (Armed Attache Case (2), red cobra backpack w/cobra emblem (2), rocket ammo backpack, light blue rocket launcher (3), laser pistol, high density white laser gun, Cobra elite backpack, Cobra’s light blue Dragunov (SVD) Sniper Rifle (2), Scrap Iron’s dark blue launcher for missile system

Accessory Pack #5 (brown back pack, Cobra infantry rifle, Backpack w/ Mine Clearing Line Charge (2), grey backpack (3)), emergency communications backpack, brown figure stand (7)), (handgun (could also double as LifeLine’s gun) (2)

82 / 83 light green helmet w/holes on side (for nearly any first year Joe)
Airborne / Duke’s backpack of 1983 (2)
Airtight’s backpack (2) and his gun (2) and one hose still attached to gun
Barbeque (85) backpack
Baroness’ (84) backpack
B.A.T.S. backpack (2)
Bazooka’s backpack, helmet (2)
Breaker (82) backpack (2)
1992’s Bulletproff see thru spring loaded green missle launcher
Charboil’s backpack
Crazyleg’s parachute backpack
Croc Master’s belt
Cobra Officer’s AK-47 Attack Rifle
Cobra Laser Viper / Neo Viper version’s 1 and 2’s black laser rifle
Cyber Viper’s dark grey figure stand
93 Destro / Cobra Commander’s grey figure stand (2)
1986’s Dialtone’s backpack (missing small side antenna)
Dr. Mindbender’s generator and stun rod
Duke (83) M-11 Submachine Gun
Duke (v4) /Gung-Ho (v5) /Clutch (v3)/Ozone (v2) /Ozone (v3)/Stalker (v5)- black rifle
Dusty’s backpack
Falcon’s backpack (missing green antenna that fits into top) and black rifle
Flash (1982) laser backpack
Flint (85) backpack
Footloose backpack
Gnawgahyde’s BOW and arror backpack
Guile from Street Fighter’s missle launcher w/attached string and grappling hook
Hawk’s helmet
Lady Jaye (85) backpack and power javelin
Leatherneck’s M-203 Attack Rifle w/ Grenade Launcher
Lowlight’s backpack
Mainframe’s computer briefcase and backpack
Monkeywrench’s harpoon gun
Night force Outback’s belt which is ripped in half
Quickkick’s backpack
Ripcord’s facemask (2)
Ripper’s backpack with hose
1984 Roadblock’s tripod for turret and his backpack (2) both missing bottom piece
Rock N Roll (version 2) grey backpack, gatling gun hand cannon
Sludge Viper / Toxo Viper (v2) purple backpack
Snake eyes version 2 sword
Snowstorm / Bushido’s white figure stand (2)
Storm Shadow 84 – bow and backpack with one sword in holster
Storm Shadow 88 – red backpack w/ sword attached
Torch’s backpack w/hose and torch rifle
Torpedo’s swim fin (just 1)
Tripwire’s mine detector
Tripwire version 2 (Listen N Fun) grey landmine backpack w/three mines
Viper backpack
Viper (86) backpack (2)
Zaranna’s backpack







Vehicles for Joe Vehicles for Cobra
1982 – JUMP Jet Pack propulsion unit, has command console but (missing lauch pad, four posts, laser blaster holster w/hose and laser)

1982 - MMS [Mobile Missile System] (missing support stand, three Patriot missiles, and missing Hawk figure)

1982 - HAL [Heavy Artillery Laser] which is typically packaged w/ VAMP (missing dk brown computer, and Grand Slam figure)

1982 - VAMP [Multi-Purpose Attack Vehicle] (missing green machine gun base, black machine gun, green steering wheel, two green gas cans and Clutch figure) vehicle has black writing on the hood for $100

1982 - MOBAT [Motorized Battle Tank] (missing battery cover, small green turret and includes Steeler figure) tank has been spray painted silver and one of the wheels has been broken off but remains complete. ALSO no longer moves on batteries

1983 – PAC/RAT Missile Launcher [Programmed Attack Computer/ Rapid All Terrain] (missing four red missles, four dk grey missle bottoms and remote control)

1983 – PAC/RAT Flame Thrower [Programmed Attack Computer/ Rapid All Terrain] (missing flamethrower, shields, hose, and bottom of treads)

1983 – APC (Amphibious personal carrier) (missing windshield, steering wheel, two seat belts, camouflaged canopy and turret)

1983 – Skystriker XP-14F Combat Jet (missing two black seats, one dark grey engine, front landing gear cover plate, two white tail fins, two dark grey forward missles, two dark grey outbound missles, one inboard missile, parachute and Ace figure)

1983 - Polar Battle Bear Skimobile (missing gun slide, two guns, roll bar, two rampage rockets, engine unit (which allows skis to connect to main body)

1983 – Wolverine Armored Missile Vehicle (missing green missle rack, twelve eight white missles, tow cable and Cover Girl action figure)

1983 – FANG [Fully Armed Negator Gyrocopter] (missing red roll bar, skid, four red missles, one grey bomb, two dk grey rotor blades)

1983 - Wolverine Armored Missile Vehicle (, connecting pieces on left track are snapped off and can’t attach, missing two missiles, tow cable and Cover Girl action figure

1983 – G.I. Joe Command Center H.Q. (missing Left Front Motorpool Side Wall, Right Front Supply Depot Side Wall (silver), Right Center Supply Depot Side Wall (silver), M-3544-1-1:Headquarters (silver), one dark chair, whole stockade, laser cannon, laser cannon shield, laser cannon post, engine cover, machine gun, search light, surveillance camera, flag, antenna, radar dish, two storage trays and storage lid.

1984 – Sky Hawk (missing two side panels, tail fin, and two dark grey rockets)

1984 – Stinger (missing steering wheel, handrail, refuel tanker, rambar, “the enemy” white driver, and four red missles.)

1984 – VAMP MARK II (missing steering wheel, launcher bottom/top, missile launcher support, 4 dark grey missiles, left water can, and figure Clutch)

1984 - Stinger (just the main chassis and four wheels)

1984 – S.H.A.R.C (missing stryofoam blocks and chunks, two engine intakes, right cannon door, one rudder, clear canopy, two full black torpedoes and Deep Six figure)

1984- ASP [Assault System Pod] (missing one blue shield, one front stabilizer (snapped off)

1984 – ASP [Assault System Pod] (missing two shields, four knuckles,

1984 – Killer WHALE (Hovercraft) (missing three black wheels, left side window, windscreen, cockpit windshield, cockpit door (broken at the corners where it latches) , two propellors, two propeller shrouds, four vertical vanes, two link bars, four horizontal vanes, two cannons, two cannon caps, L/R engine covers, two green retainers, two missile boxes, two missile dividers, eight white missiles, two dk gray machine guns, two dk grey turrets, sled, sled shroud, sled roller, sled axle, L/R cycle half, cycle wheel, cycle steering wheel, depth charge half (10) and Cutter figure.)

1984 – Chameleon (Swamp Skier) (missing handle bars, two rear skis, pull bar and junk box) has extra cage harnass

1985 – Mauler M.B.T. [Motorized Battle Tank] – (missing right storage bin cover, four black mud flaps, battery cover, tow cable, two smoke grenades, antenna, meteorological antenna, flag and Heavy Metal figure (vehicle makes noises w/ batteries but doesn’t move) have one extra wheel

1984 – Water Moccasin (missing link bar, machine gun, top/bottom surface torpedo and Copperhead figure

1985 – Snow Cat (missing two clear headlight lens, black track connector is snapped off and hard to put back on, vent detail, steering wheel, engine cover, rear panel, clear canopy, windshield wiper, roof light lens, L/R black fenders, missile box, four yellow/orange small missiles, two yellow/orange torpedoes, two torpedo skis, and Frostbite figure

1985 – Cobra Rifle Range two blue figure stands, holder for guns/barricade and M-16 Rifle (2) (missing two other guns)

1985 – Weapon Transport Vehicle (missing gun)

1985 – Night Landing (missing top/bottom of motor, handle, propeller, one oar, bow gun, machine gun, knife, radio, and shovel)

1985 – Silver Mirage Motorcycle (missing whole motorcycle, ) just has the chasis of the side car w/ wheel rim)

1986 – Conquest X-30 (missing tires/hubs, two grey drop tanks, four yellow missles, hydraulic hatch, L/R tail fins and canard wings, clear canopy and Slip Stream figure)

1985 – Ferret (missing forward gun, gun mount, steering wheel, link bar, collar, steering knuckle, steering link, suspension arm, engine, storage cover, L/R fender flare, black hose and two red missiles) vehicle has one part of the axle snapped

1986 – LCV Recon Sled [Low Crawl Vehicle] (missing clear canopy and tan periscope)

1986 – Swampfire (missing gun (has white gun in it’s place)

1986 – Devilfish (missing two black hoses, one dk grey engine cover, two oranges torpedoes, four grey missiles,

1986 – Terrordrome (has three of the four red Console seats, two red fuel station doors, two black hoses, four nozzles, one small door gun top/bottom, four red barrels, L/R gun doors, two red door stuts, two grey seat platforms, two gun door seats, five lower bay dors, one grey computer station, one blue turret base, four large gun caps, one turret platform, two gun seats,

1986 – Thunder Machine (missing steering wheel, left rear panel, ) includes Thrasher figure

1986 – Stun (missing one cobra hubcap, two flag posts, one of which is snapped off at bottom, L/R red engine covers, red machine gun and includes Motor Viper

1986 – Cobra Night Raven (WITH BOX) (missing one large axel, three large tires, clear red canopy, bomb rack assembly, two silver bombs, two maroon missile pods, four silver missiles, right stabilizer wing, double cannon, gun windscreen, two man cockpit, one man cockpit, recon exhaust, L/R engine cover. Includes Strato Viper figure.

1987 – Motorized action pack: Helicopter (missing grey handles)

1987- Motorized action pack: Cobra Rope Crosser (missing white string w/black hooks and brown harnass for figure)

1987 – Motorized action pack: G.I. Joe Rope Walker (missing white string w/black hooks and brown harnass for figure

1987 - Motorized action pack: Cobra Rope Crosser (missing white string w/black hooks and brown harnass for figure) pack has broken stem to goes into back

1987 – Motorized action pack: G.I. Joe Anti-Aircraft gun (missing scope that goes on end of barrel)

1987 – Motorized action pack: Cobra Earth Borer

1988 – Sky Sweeper Anti-Aircraft tank (missing L/R blue gun mounts, radar arm, turret gun, rocket box, four black missles, blue canopy, light bar case, light bar, antenna, sentry post, L/R gun plate, L/R blue side guns, Radar dish)

1987 – Wolf includes four red missles (missing two wheels, double cannon, two ski shocks and two white ski torepedoes and Ice Viper figure)

1987 – Pogo Pod (missing vent pipe, antenna and two grey missiles)

1987 – Sea Ray (missing pod bottom, clear red canopy, control panel, rudder wing, four red wings, one of the missile holders on the wing has snapped off and missing figure Sea Slug

1987 - Dreadnok Air Skiff (missing two yellow missiles, two guns, ) have driver Zanzibar

1988 – Motorized action pack: Dreadnok Battle Axe (missing battle axe)

1989 – Darklon’s Evader (missing body top, one black wheel, canopy, missile holder, two guns, two missiles, seat belt and Darklon figure)

1991 – Ice Sabre (missing numerous pieces and in terrible shape)

1993 – Ice Snake (missing launcher unit, harpoon, string and (two) four fin blue missless)















As of May 10, 2009 have about 54 vehicles/playsets