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Monday, June 22, 2009

Pirates of teh Caribbean 3 movie review

James Gorcesky

May 26th 2007

Pirates of the Carribean 3 Review


Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End

Also known as Return of the Jedi at Sea

Or Speed 2 – but on a Boat

Greetings true believers, let this mark my semi-anniversary for writing reviews for the Anarchist and his evil alchemy of arch-villains and nerds. Pirates 2 was the first review that I wrote for this site; so now it feels just a little bit special writing my first "sequel" review as it has come close to my one year anniversary of having my work seen to a much larger public.

And so thinking about when I wrote that first film and how I am writing it's sequel LESS THAN A YEAR away from its prequel. Which gives me a bad feeling about initially coming to see Pirates 3 and if a film is written, shot and put it within a year from it's predecessor – something didn't fall through the cracks all too well. Unless you are filming films simultaneously such as the Matrix films or the Lord of the Rings Trilogy you end up rushing yourselves into production and not taking an adequate amount of time to plot out things – especially the script. BUT, if you do plan to shoot a film without a finished script, just borrow the concept from another film - such as Return of the Jedi!

Back to the Future Part 2, many of the Bond films, and Superman II all come to my mind after these films were released and IMMEDIATELY rushed into production. I know Spielberg regretted making Back to the Future 2 and then HAVING to make Part III only to suck ass. And chances are, if you are a comic book fiend you will already have your opinions about Superman III (which is seminally one of the greatest comic book films of all time). Unfortunately, so much work and success was put into Superman I/II that when III came about, with a much more comedic approach – the fiscal return on the film wasn't as well. Image:EvilSupermanCloseup.
jpgNow, I feel that there IS a direct parallel between Pirates 3 and Superman III but primarily the plot is Return of the Jedi.


Yeah, I know what you are thinking – this nerd is ludicrous! Trust me, I won't let you down. Okay, so I ended up seeing the RATHER LONG epic film and I became very bored throughout most of the film as it was over run with waaay too much information about Pirate-lure, constant betrayal amongst all of the main players of the cast and waaay too much computer generated Johnny Depp Image:Fishmanjack.jpegfor an over zealous attempt for a comedic Johnny factor for the film. The man has got like forty clones – I felt like I was watching the Clone Wars L

Spoilers Ahead!

Okay, let me get back to the alternative titles for this film as saying this is like Return of the Jedi. Actually, A LOT of this film felt like Return of the Jedi. Perhaps because I feel that Star Wars is the quintessential film saga that set the standard for "Trilogy Films" but even the opening of the film feels very much like Jabba's Palace. Image:JabbasPalace2.jpgOkay so Kiera Knightley is in disguise to rescue her beloved and captured Will. Just like Princess Leia, Image:Leiabikini.jpgin Boush disguise is rescuing a Han Solo frozen in carbonite (TEEGLO-CARBON!) She is about to be captured by some Singapore Pirates that wanna see her naked, but luckily, mudda fuckn' Barbosa Image:Hector Barbossa -2.JPGis to the rescue. In this sense of the word, you can think of Barbosa as Luke who has come to rescue everyone. Or perhaps you might want to think of him as Lando Calrissian, a man who betrayed everyone and is now trying to redeem himself. In fact, I personally feel that Barbosa plays the ultimate hero in the film and has some of the most endearing qualities as far as a blood thirsty and back stabbing pirate would go.

Okay, so what is going on in this film is that Kiera, Barbosa, Will and the rest of the crew have traveled to Singapore and are meeting one of the "Pirate Lords" who is played by Chow Yung Fat and that they may continue their little quest. These guys need the help on bringing back Captain Jack Sparrow from the land of the dead. Ang Lee had a map that shows them basically on how to get to the "Edge of the World" and gain access to Davy Jones' locker and get Jack back. Some events happen along the way when the East India Trading Company (The Galactic Empire) comes barging on in. Apparently, Marshall law has been declared and if you are a pirate – you will die.

This strict law on all pirates can also be kinda like a direct correlation of what happened to most of the pirates in the world. Jack and Barbosa end up having a conversation about this, about how the world is getting smaller, the world has changed and the ways of the sea have changed. The strict enforcement of the seas and overtaking the pirates can be also seen as "The Evil Empire" who is trying to rule the seas with an iron fist. Their Death Star is the Flying Dutchmen with Davy Jones Image:Jones and jack.JPG(aka Darth Vader) at it's helm who must do all of the bidding commanded by the evil "Emporer" Image:Palpatine1.jpg

Lord Beckett.Image:BeckettHollander3.jpg The only way to combat this evil empire is for all of the pirates to band together, like the Rebellion, and unleash their secret weapon. (Just like finding out how to destroy the bunker base on the forest moon of Endor).

Okay, so some BETRAYAL begins to unfold. Will makes a deal with Ang Lee on trying to make co hoots with the EIC in order to get Jack back from the dead so that he can get the Black Pearl from him and thus deliver Jack to Ang and Ang to the EIC in order to ensure his own safety. SO the crew sets sail to the edge of the world, go over a large waterfall and come out the other side of the world. Meanwhile, Jack is having a nervous breakdown in the middle of Davy Jones' locker. He is having delusions of grandeur and has created many imaginary versions of himself as he does work on his ship the Black Pearl. The ship itself is stuck in a sea of salt surrounded by these spherical rocks. But luckily Jack licks one of these rocks and turns into a crab, then that crab commands an army of other crabs and is able to lift up to take it out to sea. Once it lands, Barbosa and his crew are there and finally everyone is united.

SO now onto the next part, it will be intertwined with some more betrayal, twists and turns. Barbosa knows that the Nine Pirate Lords must unite in order to release the ancient Goddess Calypso from her human form. The pirates all know that Lord Beckitt is on a mission to rid the world of all pirates and he also knows that they are all convening on Shipwreck's Cove for a final stand off. There is a traitor amongst their midst, actually everyone betrays one another at some point in this whole film. Anyways, all of the pirates head on over to Shipwreck's Cove where they need to decide on the issue over unleashing Calypso and regain their title over the sea.

If you know your Greek Mythology, you might know Calypso as a seductive Goddess with much power (in this case over the sea). Her story goes that Calypso was in love with Davy Jones many years ago. Davy made a deal with her that he would command the flying Dutchmen after he gave her his heart. His job was to take souls who died at sea to the next resting place. He would be at sea for ten years and one day at land. When he came back, she wasn't there and Davy felt betrayed. He and the original "Meeting of the Brethren" convened and decided they would enslave Calypso and take the sea as their own. The original nine pirate lords captured her and enslaved her in a human form which became Tia Dalma, who originally helped bring about Barbosa back from the dead.

This story amongst other Pirate Lure, mythology, information, characters, Lords, a King, traditions becomes WAAAAY too much information. The story just gets all of this stuff thrown at you which becomes intertwined with consistent betrayal. The main difference with this film from it's predecessor was that each person needed to get something from the other. This film still has that element, but it's toned down a bit on the very well choreographed fight scenes and instead has a whole lot more introduction of all of these nameless pirate lords Image:Chevalle.jpgand just keeps on trying to introduce to more and more Pirate characters. There are even times when we don't even know who they are or very more or on what their purpose is on the film. But whereas they have this ability to just stir up problems and create drama. They can see a few lines and then drop off into the distance as the remaining action happens in the film. What they need is to have a visual dictionary guide to this film so you know the official "Pirate Code" and what is going on behind the scenes of all of the action and inter-twining betrayal.

Finally, the whole big battle happens at the end of the film. Calypso is freed, Kiera Knightley becomes the "King of the Pirates," Jack is freed and goes through constant hallucinations, Will and Kiera get married and then Will ends up stabbing Davy's heart and then ends up taking oversees the captain of the Flying Dutchmen Image:Will Scar.JPGand ends up freeing the crew men of the Dutchmen so that they are no longer cursed as "the fish men." Will then comes back from the Dead and gets his heart taken out and gets put into the new locker and given to Kiera for protection.

Will there be a fourth Pirates film?! The film ends where Barbosa ends up kicking Jack and stealing the Black Pearl back and making it rightfully his. But what they didn't know was that Jack ended up stealing the valuable map from Barbosa and his men making it unassailable in order to reach the "Fountain of Youth". If you end up sticking around for the end of the credits, there is a scene where Will Turner returns to shore ten years later and Elizabeth has bore a son. But, who knows if another one will come around, personally I hope they do not and if they do – they should not rush this film as much. They rushed this film waaay too much and it falls through the cracks on some development and too many characters and glam and information and not enough for us to process. For a three hour movie, you will end up leaving the theater a little exhausted.

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